Write about the following topic Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In contemporary society, most of the entertainment for the young generation is digitalized, and they spend their leisure time watching
TV
programs.
This
habit has both positive and negative impacts. And the latter outweighs the positive sides. For
children
, there are several advantages to watching television.
To begin
with, there is a large number of educational
TV
programs, movies, and cartoons which can teach youngsters new knowledge.
As a result
, there is not much need for parents to search for educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
for
children
to teach something new about the world they live in.
Moreover
, watching colourful movies with deep meaning about human beings, the interaction between people and society, and people and nature is usually more interesting and memorable for people of young ages.
On the other hand
, the downsides of excessive
TV
watching cannot be ignored.
For instance
, sitting and watching
TV
all day long without breaks will negatively impact the
children
's physical condition. Eyesight can be damaged when the time and distance rules are not followed
while
looking at the screen. What is more, fewer physical actions and a sedentary lifestyle will lead to health problems like obesity or poor blood circulation.
Children
should spend more time actively, breathing pure air outside the home and learn to be more social with their peers. Communication with peers will help them to grow up mentally healthy.
Additionally
, it should be mandatory for parents to control and limit the channels that
children
constantly watch as shows may have a psychologically negative impact on
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and lead to serious mental disorders later in their life. In conclusion, there are several positive impacts of watching
TV
with informative and educational programs for young audiences.
However
, the negatives should not be ignored as well, and limitations should be set to avoid negative side effects on
children
's mental and physical health conditions.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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Example Reinforcement
Continue to provide a balanced view of the topic, but including more distinct examples from personal experience or wider knowledge can further enhance the argument.
Sentence Variety
While your essay presents a clear position, increasing the depth of argumentation with more varied sentence structures could enrich its persuasive power.
Structure
Logical structure and clear introduction/conclusion were effectively employed, making your argument easy to follow.
Balanced Argumentation
You did well in examining both the advantages and disadvantages, presenting a balanced view before stating your own position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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