Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

#people #government #money #arts

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the contemporary discourse, there exists a viewpoint asserting that authorities should use their funds

in resolving

Change preposition

to resolve

show examples

significant social issues rather than allocating them to the

arts

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I vehemently disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement as I personally hold the belief that

arts

Use synonyms

deserve equal value by national leaders. I will justify my opinion in the following paragraph. There are abundant benefits that

arts

Use synonyms

bring to the respective country.

Firstly

Linking Words

arts

Use synonyms

play a crucial role in preserving the culture of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

particular nation by means of varied paintings.

For instance

Linking Words

, there exist many art galleries preserving varied artwork that represents the historical stories and typical culture of the nation.

Secondly

Linking Words

, art

such

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is not only just a source of entertainment but

also

Linking Words

plays a huge role in relieving the stress in today's hectic life and gives immense calmness. To cite an example, a recent study stated that 85% of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

scientists prefer to listen to

music

Use synonyms

in between their experiments to relax their minds, which helps them to recharge for doing constant trials.

Last

Linking Words

but not least,

arts

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

are great contributors to enhancing the economy of the nation. To explain

further

Linking Words

, there are various

music

Use synonyms

concerts run by famous singers that attract a large amount of

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

and ultimately help to financially support the government.

For example

Linking Words

, BTS, which is one of the famous Korean groups of singers, is popular at a global level. A large number of fans from each corner of the world buy expensive tickets and

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

go to Korea to attend the concert. In

this

Linking Words

way, the country can earn more money. Talking

about

Change preposition

show examples

the flip side, there are some major social issues

such

Linking Words

as education

Correct word choice

and, healthcare

show examples

healthcare

Correct article usage

the healthcare

show examples

field that require more attention. In that case, the government should understand the priority of investing money in different sectors. From a personal standpoint,

while

Linking Words

acknowledging the priority of spending money on significant issues

such

Linking Words

as healthcare and education, I lean towards the view that shows equal importance of

arts

Use synonyms

like the other sectors that are not only a major contributor to the country's revenue but

also

Linking Words

a great source of stress buster among people.

Thus

Linking Words

, I opine that it is truly worth allocating funds in the

arts

Use synonyms

field by the Government.

Submitted by margijoshi19 on Sat May 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures further to add complexity and depth to your writing, which can enhance engagement and readability.

Task Response

Adding more precise data or studies could strengthen your argument, making it more compelling and authoritative.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively introduces, discusses, and concludes your viewpoint on the importance of funding the arts, demonstrating a comprehensive approach to the task.

Task Achievement

You have provided clear and relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument significantly.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. This makes your argument easy to follow and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

377 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some argue that alternative energy sources need to be more developed by governments’ efforts. In this essay, I will discuss this energy problem and why I completely agree with this opinion.
5
band
Write a letter to owner say how long you want to rent the apartment explain why your plans have changed tell tge owner about a problem in the apartment
I am writing this letter to kindly request to extend the rental agreement.
<4
band
Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Many times authorities face the hard decision of whether investing in railways before routes. I strongly believe that building railways and other train facilities carries way more advantages that constructiong roads, such as the reduction of carbon exhausts and the expansion of cities.
5.5
band
Some people think every human being can create artworks (e.g. painting), while others think only the people born with the ability can do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals argue that every person can be artistic and create artworks like paintings, whereas others think that only people who are born with special capabilities are able to do that. In my view, people born with talents are indeed more capable of doing so, compared to those who do not have the same talent, but with practice, everyone has the same chance to be a great artist.
5
band
Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will l earn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In our contemporary era, it has been debated whether someone is supposed to work during the study. The majority of the society believe that it is good practice to receive some knowledge and might improve other skills while others think that the time after school is a leisure time for breaks and activities. To examine both ways of understanding, this essay will examine both points of view and give my view.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Fully explain your ideas

Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Write a letter to owner say how long you want to rent the apartment explain why your plans have changed tell tge owner about a problem in the apartment

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think every human being can create artworks (e.g. painting), while others think only the people born with the ability can do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will l earn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.