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Band 3.5

many people like to wear a fashionable clothes. What is the reason for that, do you think this is a good or a bad thing?

#people #clothes #reason
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of individuals now a days would love to wear branded
clothes
 , For many
resones
Correct your spelling
reasons
 two of those
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 it makes them feel like extra wellthey so it
reflict
Correct your spelling
reflect
reflects
 their porsh
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, Because of the high quality , lets
Correct pronoun usage
me explane
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explane
Correct your spelling
explain
this
 more and offer my opinion as well.
Firest
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
,
Alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of people like to look rich and glamorise like high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
tennagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
and in their mind if they got
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 branded
clothes
 means they can buy whatever they want because
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
 men
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a good income and they can spend money freely so their friend would stike around them for material things
for example
 , teenagers in
privite
Correct your spelling
private
 schools
loves
Change the verb form
love
show examples
to buy fashionable
clthees
Correct your spelling
clothes
 to give their
frinds
Correct your spelling
friends
impration
Correct your spelling
imprison
 about been
welthey
Correct your spelling
wealthy
 kids .
Also
 another
resone
Correct your spelling
reason
way
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
 a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of people would
preferred
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fashionable
clothes
, Is because of the good quality that most of them
made
Add a missing verb
are made
show examples
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
meking
Correct your spelling
making
 them Feels
batter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
 on
skin
Correct article usage
the skin
show examples
 specially for individuals who have sensitive skin and can not wear any unknown random fabric .
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 young
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
with skin issues
tand
Correct your spelling
tend
 to wear from
zara
Change the capitalization
Zara
show examples
clothes
 shop because of their good
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end , the number of people who likes to wear
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fashionable
clothes
 is
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
due to
 the fact that it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them the feeling of
been
Change the form of the verb
being
show examples
 wealthy
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
providing
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 a good
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
.
Submitted by hebadyala on

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structure
Try to present your ideas more clearly and logically. A well-structured introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion can enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
linking
Focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will improve the cohesion of your text.
clarity
Ensure your main ideas are clearly stated and directly answer the essay question. Supporting them with specific examples is good practice, but clarity and directness are also crucial.
grammar
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Avoiding errors in these areas can significantly improve the readability and professionalism of your essay.
examples
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
understanding
You touched on important aspects of the topic, demonstrating an understanding of the material.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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