Some people think that young people should spend more and more of their free time with their families, and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A group of individuals speculate that juveniles should dedicate their

time

Use synonyms

to family members.

Also

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, advise them to reduce the amount of

time

Use synonyms

amusing outside.

Nevertheless

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, other people contend that

this

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approach is fully incorrect.

This

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essay will discuss whether spending a moment with their families is beneficial for youth or not. On the one hand, In the contemporary world, there are a lot of teenagers who are involved in outdoor amusement. The exact purpose of

that is

Linking Words

they do not find their home or family interesting. That's why they are making some efforts to deal with

this

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entertainment outside.

Nevertheless

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, Older people suggest that it has several drawbacks to spending

time

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with outside amusement

instead

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of with their families. Actually, it is undeniable that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

spending

time

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with family always can be advantageous for youths. The particular reason for

that is

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family is the single excessively important thing which can absolutely influence children's lives.

For instance

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, spending more

time

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with their dad

especially

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, especially

show examples

since childhood can significantly increase their understanding skills or their affection towards him more than any other member of the family.

On the other hand

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, it is my opinion that participating in outdoor relaxation is better as it increases one's network and social skills.

This

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due to

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the fact that these individuals are more opportune to come across various individuals who eventually become friends that could be relevant to the growth of their career, by connecting them to crucial partners.

Furthermore

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, they are able to interact with numerous people from various aspects of their lives which

further

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enhances their communication or socialization skills. The best example for

this

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statement

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apply

show examples

is in Baku, a scientist research project reviewed that approximately 60% of employed youngsters got the connections through their friends or acquaintances. In conclusion,

according to

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my perspective, strong bonds, and guidance cannot be adopted by youngsters until they do not spend

time

Use synonyms

with family.

nejla.abdullayevaSat May 11 2024

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Introduction

Introduce your essay more clearly by stating the discussion points and your opinion right from the start. This helps in setting a clear direction for your essay.

Body Paragraphs Structure

Try to present each viewpoint in separate paragraphs to maintain clarity and coherence.

Examples

Enhance your argument by including more varied and specific examples to support your points.

Transitions

Work on smoother transitions between your points and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.

Conclusion

Conclude your essay by summarizing the discussed points and clearly restating your opinion for a stronger impact.

Tone

Pay attention to maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using colloquial language or slang.

Task Response

You have attempted to address both views and provided your own opinion, which is a critical component of the task.

Organization

Your essay demonstrates an effort to organize ideas logically, which is commendable.

Examples

You included relevant examples to support your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Strengthen bonds
Improve communication
Social and emotional development
Stable and supportive environment
Instill values and traditions
Cultural heritage
Moral development
Independence
Social skills
Diverse perspectives
Open-mindedness
Critical thinking
Well-rounded development
Family activities
Outdoor activities

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Some people think that young people should spend more and more of their free time with their families, and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

The best way to increase road transport safety is to make vehicle drivers take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some animal species are now completely extinct. Many people believe that we should prevent this from happening in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argue that due to widespread internet accessibility, libraries are not necessary anymore. Do you agree or disagree?