IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others says that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #difference #environment
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It is believed that
individuals
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 who take measures to protect the
environment
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 have little
impact
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,
whereas
Linking Words
, it is
also
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 claimed that
individuals
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 can shoulder the responsibility for protecting the
environment
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. I am more inclined toward the initial view for several reasons.
To begin
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 with,
individuals
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 can influence the society to protect the
environment
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. Practical activities include launching desperate appeals to
people
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 in the area to raise the social conscience and do the clean to the surrounding features. Indeed, many influencers and activists around the world are mobilizing
people
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 to engage in cleaning the streets, planting trees and collecting the rubbish scattered around the beaches. By doing so, the amount of litter, especially plastic junk has been reduced gradually and those campaigns have attracted millions of volunteers. Many
individuals
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 protect the
environment
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 on their own and bring about positive results.
However
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, the
environment
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 is a global problem that requires social unity and effort to solve thoroughly.
Moreover
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, individual works, more often than not, are small-scale and have a moderate
impact
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 in limited areas.
As a result
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, protecting the
environment
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 is a social mission that depends on the work of the whole community. In my opinion,
individuals
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 hardly make changes in the
environment
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.
In contrast
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,
individuals
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 working in conjunction with each other can lead to a functional
impact
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.
Also
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, the cooperation between
people
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 is possibly escalating to efficient solutions the environmental problems. For these reasons, protecting the
environment
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 is a crucial task that all
people
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 have responsibility for, not a singular individual. On balance,
individuals
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 take action to conserve the
environment
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 whether or not has an efficient
impact
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.
Therefore
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, I am more biased to the first viewpoint of the assertion and believe that protecting the
environment
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 is a social duty.

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coherence cohesion
You should work on making your arguments more cohesive. Sometimes, the transitions between points are not very smooth, and this can make it harder for the reader to follow your line of thought. Try using more cohesive devices and linking words.
task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, consider including more specific examples to support your claims. This will help make your argument more convincing and give it greater validity.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points discussed and clearly stating your final stance. This would offer a more rounded finish to your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively presents both viewpoints and clearly states your main stance, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, making it relatively easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-friendly
  • collective impact
  • grassroots movements
  • systemic changes
  • sustainable products
  • environmental degradation
  • coordinated actions
  • policy changes
  • environmental-friendly policies
  • advocacy efforts
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