In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a room with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.

Being independent after 18 has
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
negative and positive sides
however
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
the positive effects are more than the negatives. When a teenager starts living
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
her/his own
all alone
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, they learn how to manage their
money
in a way that they find out gradually not to spend all of their allowance on throwing parties or hanging out with their friends but
also
saving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
for the future.
For instance
, in the first month that they feel free from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
opinions and plans, some of them start to
throwing
Wrong verb form
throw
show examples
parties and
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
drinks for their companions. Ultimately, after one or two months
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will be out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
and nothing will
be remained
Change to the active voice
remain
have remained
show examples
to live with for the rest of the month, they'll comprehensively figure
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
out that their
money
is not just for passing
time
with other
youth
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
people.
Furthermore
in order to live separately, most of them feel the need
of working
Change preposition
to work
show examples
and
receiving
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
their own income so that they don't have to explain everything to their
parents
again.
This
is a great way for them to know both sides of the future path and living alone as well. At
this
time
, they will decide whether they want to continue their studies or
living
Verb problem
leave
show examples
school to enter into the business world.
Although
most of the young generation feel happy and free when they choose to live away from
the
Change the word
their
show examples
family, there are a minor group of them that will
drag
Wrong verb form
be dragged
show examples
down
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a wrong path
such
as addiction to drugs or leaving university to waste all of their
time
just for hanging out with friends. Another negative point of living alone or sharing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
room with another person is that there would be no ready
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
meals anymore. The person has to manage the
time
perfectly to have
time
for cooking as well.
Also
, these are
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation who have no experience
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
living
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
of their parent's home. They will certainly miss home in hard times or in problems which they have to solve all
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own. In conclusion, living alone after school has both positive and negative side effects
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all of
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
on the person's decision and the way they will choose. In the meantime,
parents
can offer them their help
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard situations so that they would know that they are not alone and their
parents
haven't left them alone.
Submitted by maryamnikfekr on

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Task Achievement
Consider balancing both sides of the argument more evenly to fully address the task. While your essay leans towards the positives, ensuring equal representation can strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve clarity, pay attention to the variety and complexity of sentence structures. Experiment with more complex sentence forms to enhance readability and coherence.
Language
Double-check for minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes as they can slightly distract from the overall quality of the writing. Small inaccuracies can be easily remedied with careful proofreading.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance and justifies this view with relevant examples, effectively responding to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well developed, providing a strong opening and closure to the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have effectively used paragraphs to organize your ideas, which helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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