Space exploration is too expensive and many money should be spent on more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In our digital age,
space
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conquest is paid attention to as an important thing
although
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it is too expensive.
This
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is argued that the government should focus on other potential
problems
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to improve the quality of life. The writer of
this
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essay concentrates on the benefits of
space
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research
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and will discuss it. Beginning with the positive effects of
space
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, it helps humans invent more technological devices and innovative studies.
Moreover
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, the more discoveries of the mysteries of the universe, the more theories humans can look for.
Therefore
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, astronomy will be developed and have more concerns if people go on making
space
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missions.
For instance
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, Google Maps is popular with all people because of its convenience and widespread usage in our lives.
This
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also
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gives society new ideas about
space
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adventures in the future. Moving onto another advantage of
this
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subject, money can be separated to handle
problems
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such
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as
space
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exploration and social
problems
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.
In other words
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, time and money should be invested in pressing
problems
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such
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as climate change or the environment.
However
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, governments can tackle social
problems
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and develop their
space
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research
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if they make the method more accurate and suitable to the situation of their countries. Take Russia as a specific example for the country has lots of
space
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research
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, the authorities have laws to address some kinds of social
problems
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and make their area a worthwhile living place in the world.
To sum up
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, humans have a high demand to know more about outer
space
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, which is why they focus on cosmos findings.
However
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, the government should not spend too much money and time on
research
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, the contrary is true if they balance their investment in social risks
instead
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of paying much attention to adventures.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and flow. Try incorporating a mix of complex sentences, compound sentences, and simple sentences to make your essay more engaging.
Task Achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. This will provide a clearer direction for your essay and strengthen your argument.
Overall
Be careful with spelling and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism. Reviewing your essay for minor errors can significantly improve your overall score.
Task Achievement
You made excellent use of specific examples to support your argument, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in effectively communicating your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exorbitant
  • myriad
  • pressing issues
  • allocated
  • advances
  • direct results
  • pave the way
  • uninhabitable
  • inspirational aspects
  • fuels innovation
  • shared goal
  • intellectual capital
  • budget overruns
  • tangible benefits
  • rationale
  • dedicating
  • returns on investment
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