In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.
Childhood
obesity
is one of the increasing problems in the majority of the
countries. I believe thatCorrect article usage
apply
,
one of the main reasons behind Remove the comma
apply
is
, Correct pronoun usage
this is
parents
being lethargic on
their Change preposition
about
childer's
Correct your spelling
children's
health
and the other cause for this
issue is Correct article usage
the tramendous
tramendous
increase in Correct your spelling
tremendous
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
chains. This
essay will discuss further
more about the reasons and followed by that it will discuss how this
can be solved by an individual or a government.
Obesity
is the most common problem for both the children
and an adult. But when we consider in case of children
, they will not be aware of the reason why they are fat. When a child feel
insecure about his Change the verb form
feels
apperance
, Correct your spelling
appearance
then
his confidence level will be drastically decreased. The first main reason behind the obesity
of the children
is their parents
. As the majority of the parents
are working, then
are not finding a perfect time to take care of their Correct your spelling
they
children
and their health
. As a result
of this
, they wanted their children
to be happy and wanted to satisfy their needs. Because of this
they are providing them whatever they want, despite the fact that they are unhealthy and high in calories.
The second main reason behind Add a comma
this,
the
Correct article usage
apply
obesity
of
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
are
their Change the verb form
is
food
habits like eating fast foods in
a regular basis. Almost all the young Change preposition
on
children
are attracted towards the foods such
as Pizza, Burger, Chips and so on because of their tastes. But the majority of them are failed
to understand that, those Wrong verb form
fail
food
are unhealthy and Fix the agreement mistake
foods
increases
the fat content in their body.
Both the government and the Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
schools
should try to bring awarness
to their students. The Correct your spelling
awareness
schools
can have a mandatory physical activities
for the Correct the article-noun agreement
mandatory physical activities
a mandatory physical activity
children
, so that they can be concious
about their Correct your spelling
conscious
health
. My school will be the best example for
Change preposition
of
this
scenario. They had organized a sports day program while
I was pursuing my 8th grade and they had invited a motivational speaker to bring awarness
to the students about Correct your spelling
awareness
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
. His speech helped me a lot on
changing my Change preposition
in
food
habits, in addition
to that I had also
lost upto
20kgs because of his motivation.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
up to
obesity
is common among the
Correct article usage
apply
children
, parents
should try to bring awareness to their children
to reduce their weight. Although
the objective of all the schools
are
to educate them in Change the verb form
is
acheving
their goal, they should Correct your spelling
achieving
also
try to educate the childrens
about the importance of Correct your spelling
children
food
habit
. Fix the agreement mistake
habits
Additionally
, the government can provide some funds to all the schools
for conducting the awarness
programs.Correct your spelling
awareness
Submitted by r.harip3 on
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Language Accuracy
Consider revising minor spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
Sentence Variety
Strive for more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate higher linguistic capability.
Paragraphing
Enhance clarity by separating your ideas into clearer and more distinct paragraphs for each main point.
Content Development
Deepen your analysis by discussing how individual and governmental actions can specifically address childhood obesity. For instance, mention specific policies or initiatives.
Task Response
While discussing solutions, clearly differentiate between what individuals and governments can do, providing specific examples for each.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview of the topic and summarizing your main points well.
Task Response
Your essay addresses both parts of the question: reasons for childhood obesity and potential solutions, successfully covering the task requirements.
Use of Examples
You incorporate a personal experience to support your point, which makes your argument more persuasive and relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.