Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, many individuals argue that the appearance of technology and social online
platforms
have a disadvantaged influence on youngsters and their subsistent relationships between people
and people
while
on the other side
Add a comma
side,
people
trust that these platforms
provide many sides 10 know each other After considering both of the statements in this
notion, from my perspective, it is more beneficial for young people
to search information and keep in touch with others with the second notion.
To begin
with, it is paramount for the future of youngsters's careers. The subsistence of social media sites is a way to facilitate information and get the hang of success. This
is because the Internet is a large network and knowledge costs next to nothing fully for anybody to access and gain Therefore
it is easy to understand why young people
should use social platforms
for their development of study and career
However
, the opponents of this
idea argue that these media sites bring people
in a negative way to contract cultures and transform their eyes on relationships. Teenagers can easily be attracted by criminal thinking and run riots. For
this
reason, it will be a sharp knight for young people
when they choose to use social platforms
This
paint may be true, but the ubiquitous platforms
allow them to talk to anyone about things which sometimes opens up amazing opportunities and fosters a sense of community.
This
writer believes that the usefulness of social material sites helps learners to receive knowledge and information which outside already exists. This
is due to
the fact that,
every career and development will be kept open. Because of Remove the comma
apply
this
, teenagers can put all their faith in these beneficial platforms
.
In conclusion, having considered both sides of the argument, I am fully convinced that the adverse effects of social platforms
over these disadvantages and I believe that the technology will develop to support learners more in the near future.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic and covers the task requirements. Try to develop your ideas further with more specific examples from real life or studies to strengthen your task achievement score.
structure
Work on enhancing your essay structure. Use clear paragraphing and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by explanations or examples.
cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to help your essay flow more naturally and improve coherence. This will make your arguments easier to follow.
expression
Be mindful of the accuracy of your expressions and vocabulary. Avoid using phrases that might be confusing or incorrect, such as 'subsistent relationships between people and people' and 'sharp knight for young people'. Improving accuracy will have a positive impact on the clarity of your message.
task response
You provided a clear opinion and addressed both sides of the argument, which is excellent for the task response criterion.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present and set out your viewpoint clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!