IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Nowadays, there is a parcel of advertisements on television or social media which is presenting their products. Each of the following adds offers that their
product
 is a brand new one. I think it has a positive effect on users. In
this
 essay, I propose my idea and
also
 look at the other side and in the end I will draw some conclusions.
Firstly
, most of the companies think that a good
product
 should solve a problem. Generally, the research and development part of a company tries to find the laying problem and helps the manufacturer to offer a new
product
.By doing
this
, people will be encouraged to buy the new thing.
Secondly
, offering a new
product
 might show the company’s innovation. In
this
 situation, the entrepreneur shows that despite there being lots of other companies in the same category, my
product
 has something more and
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 worths buying.
On the other hand
,some people refuse to use new things.
Furthermore
, they tend to stick to their old instruments, because it makes them feel safe. Some of them may think they would fail to study the new structures and they won’t waste their time and money on new products. In
this
 case, offering new merchandise would contrastingly have a negative effect,because accepting changes is hard for
this
 group. All things considered, these days, the way of advertising is changing. Companies should decide how to design their ads to satisfy their clients by ruling out a problem, offering an innovation or sticking to their old fashion. In my opinion, showing that a
product
 is a new thing will be successful in most cases as most of us like to add something new to our environment.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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task response
To enhance the task response, consider incorporating more specific examples or data to strongly support your arguments. This would help illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to develop your arguments with more elaboration and depth. This can improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas, making your essay more persuasive.
language use
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and word choices to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
task response clarity
The author effectively outlines both the advantages and disadvantages of businesses emphasizing their products as new, demonstrating balanced understanding.
logical structure
The essay has a logical progression of ideas, which makes it easy to follow the writer's train of thought.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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