Some people believe that parents should devote more time to helping their children with schoolwork. Others think that they should allocate more time to playing sports with their kids. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #time #children #schoolwork #sports #kids

Some people argue that supporting the

children

’s

schoolwork

by their

parents

is more important than others.

However

, I firmly believe that it is more helpful for

parents

to spend

time

doing activities with their

children

because it makes kids feel close to their

parents

and grow up in emotional development. On the one hand, when

parents

take care of their kids’

schoolwork

, it helps them to adjust to school life easily and to get better grades on their tests. Specifically,

children

couldn’t

Verb problem

don’t

show examples

know how to start their homework or don’t want to study regularly. During

this

time

parents

check out their homework and

encourage

Wrong verb form

are encouraged

show examples

to make their own routines every day.

As a result

, their

children

can have an achievement of their studies and tests and enjoy their school

time

positively.

For example

, a documentary that I watched before has shown that a child who was taken after by

parents

showed better scores and adaption than a child who wasn’t cared about by

parents

in the part of their

schoolwork

Nevertheless

, if

parents

allocate their

time

with their

children

to playing sports, it is evident that the

children

can build up good relationships and develop emotionally. Activities with

parents

offer the

time

for them to communicate and contact physically. Eventually, it creates a close feeling for each other and gives confidence and socializing as well.

For instance

, when I was a high school student, I often went swimming with my mom. During

this

time

, I could tell my mom about my concerns and depend on her. It had me keep it up and has had a good effect emotionally until now.

To sum up

while

it is apparent that helping with

schoolwork

one way

Add a hyphen

one-way

show examples

parents

can support their

children

, it is undeniable that playing sports together is more important.

Submitted by a46615883 on Sun May 12 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

Ensure the introduction briefly addresses both views and states your opinion clearly to provide a stronger foundation for the essay.

Use of Connective Words

For an even richer essay, incorporate varied connective words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

Vocabulary & Sentence Variety

Consider introducing a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to improve the linguistic variety of your essay.

Balanced Examination

In discussing both views, strive for a balanced examination to thoroughly cover each perspective before stating your opinion.

Clear Argument & Opinion

Your essay provides clear arguments for each view and succinctly expresses your opinion, which is excellent for task response.

Effective Use of Examples

You've used examples effectively to support your points, making your arguments compelling.

Logical Structure

The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear division between paragraphs and coherent progression of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that parents should devote more time to helping their children with schoolwork. Others think that they should allocate more time to playing sports with their kids. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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