In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
It is a
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
fact
that there are people
in some countries that prefer to go to work straight after school, instead
of going to university
. I personally belive
that going to training Correct your spelling
believe
that is
related to the field that they want to work is
way better than attending Change preposition
in is
university
. There are two principal reasons for this
.
One point which I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact
that when people
go to work-based training they can learn way more about the job Change preposition
to that
that
they are going to dedicate their Correct pronoun usage
which
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Therefore
, they will be aware of obstacles that they will face in their
future. Change the word
the
Also
, due to
the fact
that young people
will be aware of drawbacks
of their profession, it would be easier for them to grow in their job.
Adding Correct article usage
the drawbacks
further
credibility to the statement brings to an idea of the fact
that during the training they will meet people
that
is
going to do the same or at least Change the verb form
are
similar
kind of job that they are going to do in the future, and Correct article usage
a similar
this
means that during the trainings
young Change the wording
training
pieces of training
people
are able to make a great network. And this
will help them in their future professional life a lot, too.
Turning to the other side of the argument university
helps young people
a lot, too because there they can meet new people
and therefore
, widen their outlook. Also
, I would like to mention that universities usually helps
young Correct subject-verb agreement
help
people
to learn how to communicate with people
with different personalities. And this
skill is quite important for every individual, from my point of view.
In conclusion, by taking into account all the above-mentioned factors, I once again reaffirm my position that work-based trainings have way more advantages than university
studies.Submitted by Ayan on
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task achievement
Expand on your examples to directly illustrate how work-based training benefits are substantial compared to university education. Providing specific instances or data can strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to enhance the flow and cohesion between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider balancing the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more evenly to fully address the prompt's expectations.
task achievement
Well-articulated stance on the preference for work-based training over university education, providing a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is commendable, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on distinct points, and a well-rounded conclusion.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your main points, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.