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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.
The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and
sales
Use synonyms
 of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first,
Linking Words
in 2006 there were
not any
Rephrase
no
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
either
Change preposition
of either
show examples
VHS
Use synonyms
 or Blu-ray with
VHS
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 starting at over 50,000,
however
Linking Words
 declining from 2002 to 2005 and Blu-ray didn’t show any
sales
Use synonyms
 until 2006. The second
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
highest figure was in
VHS
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 with over 210,000 in 2007
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started with 50,000 and increased between 2002 and 2007.
İn
Correct your spelling
In
 detail, the number of car rentals decreased significantly from 2002 to 2011, starting with around 200,000 and dropping to around 60,000 in 2011.
Although
Linking Words
 there was both an increase and a decrease in DVD
sales
Use synonyms
 from 2002 to 2011, these results were higher than other
sales
Use synonyms
. Starting at over 80,000,
VHS
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 fell to 10,000 by 2005 and showed no
sales
Use synonyms
 from 2006 to 2011. Blu-ray, which showed no
sales
Use synonyms
 until 2007, rose very little from 2007 to 2011
To sum up
Linking Words
, the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 were in DVD
sales
Use synonyms
 and rentals between 2002 and 2011.
VHS
Use synonyms
 and
Blu- ray
Correct your spelling
Blu-ray
show examples
sales
Use synonyms
 were seen very little
sales
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the other two high
sales
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, vhs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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