In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no doubt that people’s health is getting better than ever before. Many agree that old RESIDENTS are a burden for the government,
while
others believe that there are advantages if society has more older adults. I completely agree WITH THE LATTER FOR SOME REASONS MENTIONED IN
THIS
ESSAY. One of the main advantages of having more older adults is the wide range of experience and knowledge. Older people often have a lot of life experience, knowledge and social skills.
HENCE
, THEY MIGHT act as mentors TO provide and share valuable guidance to younger generations.
Moreover
, an ageing population can lead to increased demand for healthcare services, creating more chances for jobs in the healthcare sector.
In addition
, some older citizens can continue to work beyond THEIR retirement age, so they can contribute to the economy of their family and country.
For instance
, in Japan, retirees STILL WORK in different departments THAT HELP TO SOLVE some labour shortage problems.
As a result
, Japan has the best economy in the world. Another reason is that the elderly community can take care of children when their parents go to work, thanks to which families save money WHEN NOT sending their children to childcare centres.
Additionally
, older adults can engage in some volunteer activities to bring some benefits to communities and non-profit organizations,
then
strengthen social cohesion and support systems.
Furthermore
, elderly people can give important advice from their real-life experiences and prevent their children from making wrong decisions.
For example
, the father of the richest man in the world Elon Musk advised him to return after completing his studies and start his business in America.
As a result
, his company became one of the largest companies in the world.
To sum up
,
ALTHOUGH
IT IS BELIEVED THAT ageing citizens PUT A STRAIN ON THE GOVERNMENT’S BUDGET, I AM STILL CONVINCED THAT THEY BRING GREAT BENEFITS TO SOCIETY.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

advice
Try to reduce the use of capital letters for emphasis, as it can be distracting and is generally unnecessary in formal writing.
advice
Ensure smooth transitions and a seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can make your essay more coherent and easier to read.
advice
Be careful with word choice and ensure consistency in terminology (e.g., using 'older adults' and 'elderly' interchangeably can create minor confusion).
positive
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as the examples of Japan and Elon Musk.
positive
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, showing a deep understanding of the topic.
positive
The essay has a well-defined logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!