3. Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do advantages of this trend outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Model Answer:
It has been pointed out that an increasing number of individuals decide to have their first kid in their late thirties or forties. Personally, I opine that the stiff competitive atmosphere in our society causes
this
circumstance, and this
disgraceful trend is detrimental to the development of our country from different aspects.
First of all, the strong competition in the job market is the reason for young individuals making the decision to have their babies later in their lives. This
is because in order to keep their well-paid jobs and make more money to support their livelihood, young individuals are always required to work beyond the predetermined hours, which squizzed their leisure time, thus
leading to that they do not have enough time to think about having their children. For instance
, a huge percentage of young couples who are working in well-known companies in Hong Kong said that it is quite common for them to work until late mid-night every weekday, which genuinely makes up a great deal of their spare time to consider having their babies and take care of them. As a result
of this
, they have decided to have their first kid after their forty years old.
Furthermore
, this
dreadful situation has affected the development of our nations. The reason is that professionals and experts, especially young graduates who have achieved amazing academic performance in educational establishments, in various fields are the main contributors to the growth of a country. If ordinary people delay having their children, it will lead to a lack of human resources, thus
harming the development of our country. As an illustration, a specialist of an institution of biology points out that due to
a lack of young outstanding talents whose major is pharmacy, they are facing a profound challenge to carry out new experiments and produce new medicines, which hinders the advancement of biology in their nation.
In conclusion, although
people may vary in their opinion about the cause and effect of the delay in having children of young generations, I am of the opinion that the fierce competition in workplaces is the reason for this
situation, and it has resulted in several drawbacks for the growth of a nation in various industries.Submitted by strawberry.guan on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking devices to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This would make your arguments more cohesive and easier for the reader to follow.
Task Achievement
To fully address the task, it's important to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the trend of having children later in life. The essay mainly focuses on the negative aspects, leaving the positives underexplored.
Task Achievement
Try to ensure a balanced discussion in your essay by allocating similar lengths to each side of the argument, if the question asks for an evaluation of both advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
You provide a clear thesis statement that sets out your view effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your use of examples, such as the situation in Hong Kong, helps concrete your argument and brings real-world relevance to your points.