The crime nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance in technology which can help prevent and solve crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There exists a viewpoint in the contemporary discourse asserting that, in comparison to previous times, criminal activities are
reducing
to a great extent Wrong verb form
reduced
as a result
of a dramatic surge in technologies that inhibit the occurrence of illegal activities and make it easier to resolve them. I strongly agree with this
statement, and I will justify my stance in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, technology
has made it quite easy for the police to detect criminals by using modern equipment. To further
explain, the invention of CCTV cameras
makes it possible for the police to catch culprits as these cameras
can continuously record activities. Thus
, by checking the footage, inspectors can not only find the criminals but also
provide evidence to the court to prove their case. That is
the reason why the government has installed CCTV cameras
across the nation, especially in crowded places such
as public gardens, street markets, historical buildings, and many more, where illegal actions are more suspected. As a consequence
, crime rates have reduced in the present time. To cite an example, a recent study reveals that after installing surveillance facilities in public places, the incidents of theft have decreased by 60% compared to the last
two years, and the main suspected causative factor is the fear of being caught on cameras
.
On the flip side, no one can deny that the growth in technology
also
brings certain drawbacks that contribute to the increasing crime rate. For example
, a new survey of the present year states that the rate of cybercrimes is increasing by about 70% with the advancement of new technologies, which is one of the major security concerns nowadays that need
to be considered.
From a personal standpoint, Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
although
there are some security and privacy drawbacks of modern technology
due to
cybercrimes, I lean towards the significance of the security benefits provided by technology
by installing CCTV cameras
, which are not only beneficial for authorities to detect criminals but also
play a huge role in the deduction of the crime rate across the nation."Submitted by margijoshi19 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay contains an excellent introduction and conclusion that clearly present your viewpoint and summarize the main ideas effectively. Continue to leverage this skill in your writing.
logical structure
You've shown a strong ability to logically structure your essay and connect ideas. To enhance this further, consider varying your linking phrases more and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
supported main points
You did a fantastic job supporting your main points with relevant examples. To elevate your essay even further, aim to balance the discussion of both sides of the argument by expanding on the drawbacks in as much detail as you do with the benefits.
complete response
Your essay effectively addresses the task's requirements by presenting a clear argument and supporting it with specific examples. To improve, try to develop a more nuanced argument that acknowledges the complexity of the topic, especially in paragraphs discussing opposing viewpoints.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear, comprehensive, and well-elaborated. Maintaining this level of detail and clarity will serve you well. For additional depth, consider exploring more diverse perspectives and their implications.
relevant specific examples
The use of a specific example, like the impact of CCTV on reducing theft, significantly strengthens your argument. Keep integrating such concrete details to support your assertions.
introduction conclusion present
Excellent use of introduction and conclusion to frame the argument.
logical structure
Good logical structure making the essay easy to follow.
supported main points
Effective use of examples to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.