The only reason why people work hard is to earn money and there is no another reason for doing so. To what extent do you agree and disagree ?

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Nowadays, we are living in the

advents

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advances

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of new high-tech, and working hard is a vital factor that improves social life. Some people consider that only when you work as a bee can you have bread and butter

while

others think there are other reasons for doing so. In

this

essay, I will discuss the rationales behind these two views before showing why I

favor

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the latter statement.

To begin

with, the element of working hard increases the income of individuals with the goal spent on costs for personal or family. For illustrate, when a nation focuses on jobs that earn cash, the citizens are capable of taking good care of their families. They need money to meet the basic demands in life when meeting a friend, paying house bills, and shopping.

In addition

, citizens have higher salaries, who will save huge sums of money based on financial planning, and they can be used for urgent circumstances.

Therefore

, working hard not only creates a source of income but

also

arouses the motivation of the public, improves mental health, and raises spending management aptitude. Regarding the ideal goals of those who do not desire a task that attracts coins, they can grow talent and dedication to the community. In an extreme instance, composers always live in passion and are conscientious about creating a script or song to serve the audiences. Plus, songs offer a healing effect. Once the audiences appreciate the songs, the composers can enjoy the rewarding moments of being recognized. Another illustration to discuss is that soldiers have always been covering the country, bringing peace to citizens. They are

also

committed to a significant mission. In return, ordinary people are supposed to be in charge of working hard for society, contributing to building the country from the inside. From the viewpoints mentioned above, I recognize money, and device a job in society so vital.

Furthermore

, each person will have their orientation and follow a dream of creating and fulfilling the perceptual missions when being part of life and the country.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Mon May 13 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Strive to maintain clear and concise paragraphs; each should focus on a single main idea to enhance readability and cohesion.

Task Achievement

To further enhance your task achievement, ensure that your examples are directly linked to your arguments. This will create a stronger, more persuasive essay.

General

Carefully proofread your essay to catch and correct any minor grammatical or spelling errors, maintaining the overall high quality of your writing.

Task Achievement

You have effectively provided a balanced discussion on the topic, presenting views on both sides before stating your own position, which demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical flow of ideas from paragraph to paragraph demonstrates good use of coherence and cohesion, making your essay easy to follow.

Content Quality

Your use of specific examples to support your views adds depth to your arguments, enriching your essay's content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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The only reason why people work hard is to earn money and there is no another reason for doing so. To what extent do you agree and disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles than spend so much money to treat obese people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Percentage of UK people who consumed daily recommended amount of fruit and vegetable in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are solutions?