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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

more and more businesses as well as individuals are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face to face. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using techology for communication

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In
this
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 modern world, there is a huge inclination for communication through technology compared to face-to-face conversations. The main reason for
such
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 a trend is the flexibility it offers for the people.
However
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, just like any other modern invention, it
also
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 has its two sides and below I will list down both its pros and cons.
To begin
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 with, modern businesses get huge benefits from technology, as they don't need to
travel
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 to meet their prospective customers to expand their
business
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. Since they can able to complete their
business
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 dealings through phone or video calling applications, they can save a lot of
travel
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 time and exhibit increased productivity.
On the other hand
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,
business
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 deals closed through phone calls might not
last
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 long and in some cases, companies think that it is a sign of massive disrespect towards them and may refrain from exercising future deals with
such
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 organizations.
For example
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, in countries like Japan, even today
business
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 contracts are still closed by in-person meetings rather than virtual calls, which stresses the key importance of personal touch in
business
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.
However
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, a small company which doesn't have enough budget for
travel
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 can utilize these modern applications to compete with the mighty organizations to gain market share. Previously,
such
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 instances were not possible and
as a result
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, companies with enormous resources were only be able to successful. After the advent of mobile phones and internet,
such
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 notions were dismantled. But
on the contrary
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, scams are currently increasing and it is mainly attributed to the increased use of technologies.
This
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 is because people trust these folks, whom they spoke on the phone, without meeting them in person, which causes financial loss and emotional trauma. So
to conclude
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, on the brighter side,
technology
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the technology
a technology
show examples
 used for communication provides flexibility, reduces
travel
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 times, offers an opportunity to compete with limited resources and many more.
However
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, it lacks the personal touch and has a huge role in increased scams these days.

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task achievement
While the essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, more specific examples could strengthen the arguments further. Try to include additional case studies or statistics to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is generally smooth, but transitions between paragraphs could be made more fluid. Utilizing connective phrases to bridge ideas would enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are slightly awkwardly phrased. Revising for clarity and conciseness can improve readability and overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of using technology for communication, providing a balanced viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The writer provides a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
task achievement
The key points are well-supported, and the writer demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommuting
  • Virtual meetings
  • Connectivity
  • Synchronous communication
  • Asynchronous communication
  • Non-verbal cues
  • Telepresence
  • Cybersecurity concerns
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Bandwidth limitations
  • Video conferencing
  • Instant messaging
  • Digital divide
  • Network reliability
  • Remote collaboration
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