according to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and 70s they return home with no experience of local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past?

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To be different

Verb problem

Different

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from the 1960s and 70s, it is a tendency nowadays that people usually go straight to their holiday destinations and choose to reside there for the length of their trip rather than spending

time

Use synonyms

exploring the traditional habits of residents here.

This

Linking Words

has become a controversial topic for everyone to discuss, and from my perspective, I

also

Linking Words

declare some

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

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about

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are a variety of reasons why tourists do not desire to possess a new experience of resort culture.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the modern world seems to be very hustle and bustle resulting in the more hectic

time

Use synonyms

that people have to deal with in their life.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they tend to make shorter travels just in order to relax and relieve stress effectively by staying in their reserved rooms and sleeping.

For instance

Linking Words

, "sleep tourism" which is a new form of travel has been very ubiquitous recently for those who want to save

time

Use synonyms

and money on their trip but still want to experience new places without having to participate in sightseeing and exploration activities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, travellers are provided with different activities like swimming, gym or golfing so that they will not try to move to different places.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, tourism has exerted a dramatic transformation throughout history, becoming faster, more accessible, and more diverse than ever before.

While

Linking Words

journeys could take weeks or even months to reach remote destinations in the past, they are more accessible and convenient today thanks to cutting-edge means of transportation.

For example

Linking Words

, if citizens in ancient

Use synonyms

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

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had to take horse-drawn carriages to travel to another place, in today's world can use airplanes, high-speed trains or coaches to travel faster and easier. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, tourism

are

Change the verb form

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very different from in the past and in

this

Linking Words

day and age. Today most visitors are more likely comfortable to remain in their landing place and do not immerse themselves in other traditional cultures.

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task achievement

Make sure that your main points are backed up by specific examples or evidence. Providing concrete examples from real life, statistics or studies can help strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the body paragraphs should be more precisely connected to the thesis statement. Try to use transitional phrases and make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.

task achievement

Develop your ideas further and connect them back to the question throughout the essay. Every paragraph should clearly relate to the topic and contribute to answering the question posed.

task achievement

Be careful with the use of terms like 'ancient time' which may not be the most accurate description of the 1960s and 70s. Always check for historical accuracy and relevance.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holiday resort
local culture
all-inclusive
excursions
exploration
virtual experiences
cultural immersion
aesthetic experiences
luxury travel
virtual experience
tour operators
mass tourism

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according to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and 70s they return home with no experience of local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past?

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