Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country. Others think that they should live in a separate minority group with different lifestyle. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there are some

trend

Fix the agreement mistake

trends

show examples

that a great number of

people

Use synonyms

live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad. Some

peole

Correct your spelling

people

believe that

people

Use synonyms

should adopt

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

culture

Use synonyms

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

contry

Correct your spelling

country

while

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

would suggest that they should live in a separate group with

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

lifestyle.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss

this

Linking Words

issue from both perspectives and I agree with the former view that we have to consider

others

Use synonyms

culture

Use synonyms

. On the one hand, there are some grounds to support the view that foreigners should live separately with their own

culture

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Firstly

Linking Words

, some countries have specific

cultures

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such

Linking Words

as certain religions, traditions and diets. In fact, it might bring sensible influences on

people

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who are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

local.

For instance

Linking Words

, in

aspect

Add an article

the aspect

an aspect

show examples

of religion, they have to

stict

Correct your spelling

stick

to their religious

costums

Correct your spelling

customs

costumes

or diet and it might

make

Verb problem

create

show examples

a conflict between

foreigner

Fix the agreement mistake

foreigners

show examples

and natives.

Hence

Linking Words

it would be better

live

Fix the infinitive

to live

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in a different part

Change preposition

show examples

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

for each

Use synonyms

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

are of the opinion that

people

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should accept

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

culture

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, societies

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

changed to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

globalization

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apply

show examples

these days. In general,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

more and more

peole

Correct your spelling

people

are moving to other countries and it

lead

Wrong verb form

has led

show examples

mix

Replace the word

mixed

show examples

culutral lifestlyle

Correct your spelling

cultural lifestyles

whole

Change the article

the whole

show examples

world. Despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an unfamiliar

culture

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, locals can learn a variety of

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

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from the exotic

cultures

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Accroding

Correct your spelling

According

to recent research, in South Korea, there are around 30%

children

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of children

show examples

who are from other countries in

elementry

Correct your spelling

elementary

schools, and students are studying diverse

cultures

Use synonyms

from each other. If they learn new

custom

Fix the agreement mistake

customs

show examples

, they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

comprehend easily

difference

Correct article usage

the difference

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

should

adopt

Correct your spelling

adapt

show examples

to other

Use synonyms

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

. In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut issue.

Although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can feel

awakward

Correct your spelling

awkward

from new

cultures

Use synonyms

, I believe we must accept another

culture

Use synonyms

from

foriegners

Correct your spelling

foreigners

This

Linking Words

is because

mix

Replace the word

mixed

show examples

cultures

Use synonyms

will make the world's life better than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past.

kimjy3329Mon May 13 2024

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sentence structure

Try to use a variety of sentence structures to enhance clarity and flow. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed which can hinder understanding.

spelling and typographical errors

Be mindful of typographical and spelling mistakes such as 'peole' instead of 'people', 'contry' instead of 'country', and 'accroding' instead of 'according'. These errors can distract from the overall quality of your writing.

grammar

Work on using appropriate prepositions and articles throughout your essay. Misuse can sometimes make your sentences confusing or unclear.

argument depth

To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.

organization

You have organized your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion summarizing your opinion. Well done!

task response

Your essay addresses the prompt fully, discussing both sides of the argument and clearly stating your opinion. This is essential for a high score in task achievement.

use of examples

You've successfully included an example regarding South Korea, which demonstrates an ability to use relevant examples to support your points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

assimilate
social cohesion
integration
navigating the job market
cultural preservation
sense of belonging
heritage
multiculturalism
cultural landscape
support network
transition
multicultural society
mutual respect
cultural identity

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Some people think that people moving to a new country should accept new culture in the foreign country. Others think that they should live in a separate minority group with different lifestyle. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer

Some people think that, to learn about other countries, traveling abroad is necessary while others think that is not necessary because TV and the internet can give the same information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?