The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time.

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to present time.
The illustration of an unidentified school
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
changes from 1985 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that there were some minor and major changes
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the buildings,
whereas
the
area
of the entrance and exit, office, car park, and playing
fiels
Correct your spelling
fields
field
remained the same until
todays
Correct your spelling
today
.
Moreover
, it is interesting to note that the greater the population size, the larger the expansion of the facilities provided
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the school.
To begin
with, in 1985
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a school population of 1,500 students contained only essential and small-size buildings. A y-shaped
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
path
was surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
show examples
the rectangular car park
area
. The leg of it
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to
a playing fields
Correct the article-noun agreement
a playing field
playing fields
show examples
was the largest
area
and
at the end
of
plan
Add an article
the plan
show examples
. there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
car park and
classrooms
Fix the agreement mistake
classroom
show examples
building to the left of the pathway
as well as
another 2
storeys
Fix the agreement mistake
storey
show examples
building for classrooms. On the left side, there are
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
and
library
Correct article usage
a library
show examples
situated at the corner.
Hence
, in today's plan, with a size of 2,300 students, the library now turned into a learning resource centre which
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
room inside.
one
Capitalize word
One
show examples
more class were
adding
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
and the
two storeys
Correct your spelling
two-storey
show examples
building was built one more storey on top of it.
Furthermore
,
pool
Correct article usage
a pool
show examples
and fitness centre were added,
whereas
the playing
fields
Fix the agreement mistake
field
show examples
area
was reduced.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Layout
  • Significance
  • Accessibility
  • Expansion
  • Facilities
  • Trends
  • Priorities
  • Modernized
  • Well-being
  • Sustainability
  • Transportation
  • Innovative
What to do next:
Look at other essays: