In some countries, many people are choosing to leading an unhealthy lifestyle these days. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
I think
this
would be a negative development. In the followings
, I will explain how the unhealthy lifestyle with Fix the agreement mistake
following
reagrads
to the fast Correct your spelling
regards
food
culture
.
Unhealthy
lifestyle has become gradually common among countries. In most of the developed countries, unhealthy eating habits are commonly found. In the US, one of the unhealthy eating Correct article usage
An unhealthy
culture
, fast Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
food
, has dominated in
their Change preposition
apply
food
culture
for years. The famous fast food
brand, McDonald
, had Change noun form
McDonald's
also
been considered as the successful food
and beverage business globally. Fast food
culture
has undoubltedly
gained Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
the
Correct article usage
apply
econmic
success in the world. Having the business extended around the world, the unhealthy eating Correct your spelling
economic
culture
had
Wrong verb form
has
lead
to Wrong verb form
led
the
positive development in the US.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, it is known that fast food
is considered as unhealthy as it is usualy
preserved with its Correct your spelling
usually
exessive
amount of oil, sugar and salt. Fast Correct your spelling
excessive
food
is "fast" as it can be prepared within a short period of time
. It is also
designed for people
who have limited meal time
regarding
their Change preposition
in
fast-pacing
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
life
. For those who have long working Fix the agreement mistake
lives
time
and enormous workload
, fast Fix the agreement mistake
workloads
food
would be their "first choice" to get fed. Having chosen the intake of fast food
for a long time
, there would be a high risk for people
to be obese and consequently
the cadio disease. In the US, obesity has broadly affected the country with near
half of the population Change the word
nearly
are
overweight or obese. Obesity Wrong verb form
being
brings
a lot of impact Verb problem
has
to
Change preposition
on
human
body and Add an article
the human
also
to
their living. Change preposition
on
People
suffering from obesity will have a higher risk of getting cadio
disease and Correct your spelling
cardio
diffilsult
to walk. Correct your spelling
difficult
This
will also
bring
Verb problem
have
the
negative impact Correct article usage
a
to
their living. it is Change preposition
on
diffcult
for Correct your spelling
difficult
the
Correct article usage
apply
severe
obese Change the adjective
severely
people
to walk or even to move. It would be imposible
for them to mobile only by themselves. Correct your spelling
impossible
Therefore
, unhealthy eating habits will lead to a
negative development.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by asllchkied on
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Spelling & Grammar
Be mindful of spelling errors (e.g., 'reagrads' should be 'regards', 'econmic' should be 'economic', 'undoubltedly' should be 'undoubtedly') and grammatical issues that can hinder clarity. Consider using spell check tools and reviewing grammar rules.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. Additionally, a conclusion that summarizes your argument and reaffirms your stance on the issue could enhance your essay's structure.
Balance of Argument
While your essay presents a strong stance against unhealthy eating habits by highlighting the fast food culture's negative effects, consider including counterarguments or discussing potential benefits before refuting them to strengthen your argument.
Example Variety
You've done well in using specific examples, particularly the reference to fast food's impact in the United States. Including more global perspectives or examples from other countries could broaden your argument's relevance.
Use of Examples
You effectively used specific examples, like the prevalence of fast food in the United States and its consequences, to support your argument.
Clear Stance
Your essay conveys a clear stance against the unhealthy lifestyle, effectively arguing why it represents a negative development.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.