I am going to talk about an extremely interesting activity that I had the opportunity to experience before

I am going to talk about an extremely interesting activity that I had the opportunity to experience before.
That is
trekking. At that time, I was working at vpbank and I participated in activities with my colleagues. If I remember correctly, it was around May 2018. The
place
we went was Tu Lan, a
place
in Phong Nha Ke Bang National Park in Quang Binh province. I am a person who loves to explore and I often travel with friends. So, when I heard my colleagues invite me to go to Tu Lan, I immediately agreed. It was truly a memorable trip in my life. My feelings are nothing but amazing. Everything there is amazing. I got to see the majestic nature,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
forests, enjoy the clear streams and enjoy delicious local food. do you know? That
place
appeared in the movie Kong
Skun
Correct your spelling
Skull
Island 2017. If I have the chance, I want to go back to visit that
place
again.
Submitted by weezel on

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Vocabulary
Include a wider range of vocabulary specifically related to trekking and personal growth to more deeply engage the reader.
Task Achievement
Consider sharing a bit more about the challenges faced during the trek and how they were overcome. This could add depth to your narrative and illustrate personal growth or teamwork.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more naturally.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively captures the enthusiasm and personal significance of the trekking experience.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've provided a clear structure that guides the reader through the narrative, from the introduction of the activity to reflecting on its importance.
Task Achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning the appearance of Tu Lan in 'Kong Skun Island 2017,' help to vividly paint the experience for the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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