Some people believe that children should continue schooling until 18 years old while others suggest that schooling till 14 years of age is enough. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

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These days, some individuals claim that

students

Use synonyms

at schools should

study

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until 18

years

Use synonyms

of age

however

Linking Words

others believe that it is adequate to

study

Use synonyms

up to 14

years

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old. On the one hand, some people argue that

students

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should learn at

school

Use synonyms

to get 18

years

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old. Schools provide them with several advantages.

Firstly

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, it gives them more opportunity to grow up with the best knowledge qualification.

Secondly

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, studying for a long

time

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school

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prepares them physically and mentally for

university

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education.

For example

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, by finishing the year and starting each new year

school

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will teach different new subjects.

As a result

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, studying for a long

time

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will let them have the best quality education.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some individuals claim that studying for

school

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students

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up to age 14 is enough. They explain that studying more than 14

years

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old will be a waste of

time

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for

students

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Therefore

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, finishing

school

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early leads them to start

university

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early and have more experience.

For instance

Linking Words

, when

students

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finish

university

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early, they might have

time

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to do some volunteer work to improve their skills.

Consequently

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, it is adequate for

students

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study

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up to age 14 at

school

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To conclude

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Change preposition

according to

show examples

the beliefs of some populations, pupils should

study

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school

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until 18

years

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old.

However

Linking Words

, others don’t agree and the statement they said

study

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for a long period will waste

student’s

Change noun form

students’

show examples

time

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. I think studying up to 18

years

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old will help

students

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have the best

time

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management in the future and make them ready for

university

Use synonyms

education.

hsmkashiMon May 13 2024

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sentence variety

To enhance your writing, consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wide range of language skills. While your essay is logically structured, incorporating complex sentences and a mix of sentence types could further improve coherence.

detailed examples

Although your essay presents clear arguments and examples, integrating more specific, detailed examples could provide stronger support for your points. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or more concrete scenarios.

opinion clarity in introduction

Your opinion is presented at the end of the essay, which is fine, but consider introducing it more clearly in your introduction as well. This approach will enhance the coherence of your essay by aligning the readers' expectations with your conclusion from the beginning.

logical flow

Your essay has a clear structure, with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your arguments.

balanced discussion

You have done well to discuss both views in a balanced manner, offering a fair presentation of each perspective before stating your own position.

effective conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s main points and reiterates your personal stance, strengthening the overall coherence and cohesion of your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Some people believe that children should continue schooling until 18 years old while others suggest that schooling till 14 years of age is enough. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

Your opinion

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause stress, and how can we reduce it?

Some people think that to learn a second language well, it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken. What is your opinion about this?

In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The number of old people is increasing. Some think this will cause problems for countries while others believe old people still have value. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?