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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that good teamwork is what makes companies successful. Others feel that it is more important to have a good leader. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #teamwork #companies #leader
Some argue that teamwork is the key to success for companies because companies’
programs
 involve
team
 members’ collaboration.
However
,
this
 essay believes that having a good leader to guide the entire
team
 plays a more important role in the success. On the one
hand
, people believe that having a great collaboration between coworkers is important to successfully carry out the corporates’
programs
. The top management has strategies to achieve the goals through
programs
 that are distributed to each unit. Units have to collaborate to successfully run the
programs
.
Therefore
 good teamwork is essential.
For example
, Shopee has double-dated promotional events to ramp up their GMV. To run
this
, the marketing
team
 and the IT
team
 should join
hand
 in
hand
 to execute the event.
However
,
this
 essay thinks that to smoothly run the project, each
team
 should have a manager to lead the teams, distribute the tasks, and make sure that everyone is doing their jobs.
On the other
hand
, a great manager plays a vital role in guiding the
team
 members. There will be disagreements and conflicts between units
while
 they are working on the same project. In
this
 situation, a leader will have to step in to navigate through the problems,
thus
 they can have the solution to it.
For instance
, the IT
team
 should consider the amount of time needed to build on the graphic for the promotional event and the marketing
team
 should give the brief weeks beforehand in order to provide enough time to the IT
team
.
This
 essay believes that there are always conflicts when running a project,
thus
 a manager has to guide workers to achieve a win-win solution. In conclusion, even though having great collaboration between employees is the key to delivering successful results, the role of a good leader is far more important to navigate through the rising conflict between workers.
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task achievement
Make sure to provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion. This will enhance the completeness of the response.
task achievement
Clarify your main points with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally has a logical structure, but aim to improve transitions between ideas for a smoother flow of arguments.
coherence cohesion
For an effective introduction and conclusion, clearly restate the topic and summarize your key points, including a restatement of your own viewpoint in the conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaboration
  • Synergy
  • Cohesion
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Delegation
  • Autonomy
  • Innovation
  • Morale
  • Strategic planning
  • Charisma
What to do next:
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