In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. Why is this happening? What measures could be taken to ensure they do not disappear.

#parts #world #festivals #celebrations #measures

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The disappearance of various traditional

festivals

and

celebrations

has been witnessed in many parts of the world.

This

essay will shed light on the underlying reasons behind

this

phenomenon before proposing some viable solutions to alleviate it. The erosion of traditional

celebrations

can be attributed to two main reasons. One significant reason revolves around the prevalence of globalisation.

This

has facilitated the spread of multiple cultural elements worldwide, which gradually blur the image of certain traditional

festivals

in individuals’ minds.

For example

, Halloween and Christmas are widely celebrated across the world, and they appear to be more appealing to teenagers

due to

their novelty and modern appeal.

Additionally

, technology advancements can exacerbate

this

issue by allowing young individuals to be exposed to an array of recreational online activities.

This

weakens their connection with the community, leading them to become more isolated from traditional activities,

further

undermining the intangible value of cultural

celebrations

and

consequently

diminishing indigenous

festivals

. Effectively addressing

this

issue necessitates mutual efforts both at governmental and individual levels. At the governmental level, allocating resources to the celebration of traditional

festivals

is crucial to prevent their disappearance.

For example

, Thai Nguyen, renowned for its proliferation of tea, has been organising its cultural heritage “Tea Festival” annually. Not only does it confer potential benefits upon the local economy by attracting numerous tourists from nearby cities, but

also

broadcasts the province’s heritage to a wider population. On an individual level, people can proactively preserve and broaden the presence of cultural

festivals

by leveraging social media platforms to highlight the importance and visibility of traditional events. By sharing personal experiences or traditional clothes on different platforms, these practices can foster a collective effort to keep these

celebrations

alive. In conclusion, the diminishing of traditional

festivals

in some parts of the world is largely driven by globalisation and technological progress.

However

this

issue is effectively soluble through a combination of responsible individual practices and government intervention to popularise the local

celebrations

’ values.

Submitted by kkhanhnhitr0801 on Tue Aug 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay is quite strong overall, you could further improve by making smoother transitions between points. This will help in maintaining the reader’s engagement. For instance, the transition between discussing globalisation and technology could be more fluid.

task achievement

Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and explained. While your examples are relevant and specific, sometimes a bit more elaboration could provide clearer comprehension for the reader.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a great understanding of the topic and adequately addresses the task. You have successfully identified the reasons behind the disappearance of traditional festivals and proposed viable solutions.

coherence cohesion

Your essay follows a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that tie the entire piece together. Each of your main points is well-supported with relevant examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. Why is this happening? What measures could be taken to ensure they do not disappear.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It more important for school children to learn local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.