In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. Why is this happening? What measures could be taken to ensure they do not disappear.

The disappearance of various traditional
festivals
and
celebrations
has been witnessed in many parts of the world.
This
essay will shed light on the underlying reasons behind
this
phenomenon before proposing some viable solutions to alleviate it. The erosion of traditional
celebrations
can be attributed to two main reasons. One significant reason revolves around the prevalence of globalisation.
This
has facilitated the spread of multiple cultural elements worldwide, which gradually blur the image of certain traditional
festivals
in individuals’ minds.
For example
, Halloween and Christmas are widely celebrated across the world, and they appear to be more appealing to teenagers
due to
their novelty and modern appeal.
Additionally
, technology advancements can exacerbate
this
issue by allowing young individuals to be exposed to an array of recreational online activities.
This
weakens their connection with the community, leading them to become more isolated from traditional activities,
further
undermining the intangible value of cultural
celebrations
and
consequently
diminishing indigenous
festivals
. Effectively addressing
this
issue necessitates mutual efforts both at governmental and individual levels. At the governmental level, allocating resources to the celebration of traditional
festivals
is crucial to prevent their disappearance.
For example
, Thai Nguyen, renowned for its proliferation of tea, has been organising its cultural heritage “Tea Festival” annually. Not only does it confer potential benefits upon the local economy by attracting numerous tourists from nearby cities, but
also
broadcasts the province’s heritage to a wider population. On an individual level, people can proactively preserve and broaden the presence of cultural
festivals
by leveraging social media platforms to highlight the importance and visibility of traditional events. By sharing personal experiences or traditional clothes on different platforms, these practices can foster a collective effort to keep these
celebrations
alive. In conclusion, the diminishing of traditional
festivals
in some parts of the world is largely driven by globalisation and technological progress.
However
,
this
issue is effectively soluble through a combination of responsible individual practices and government intervention to popularise the local
celebrations
’ values.
Submitted by kkhanhnhitr0801 on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay is quite strong overall, you could further improve by making smoother transitions between points. This will help in maintaining the reader’s engagement. For instance, the transition between discussing globalisation and technology could be more fluid.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed and explained. While your examples are relevant and specific, sometimes a bit more elaboration could provide clearer comprehension for the reader.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a great understanding of the topic and adequately addresses the task. You have successfully identified the reasons behind the disappearance of traditional festivals and proposed viable solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion that tie the entire piece together. Each of your main points is well-supported with relevant examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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