Some people believe that it’s acceptable for the media to publish the details of famous people’s private lives.Others say that it should be stopped.
Some
people
think that it is satisfactory for the media to release the particular celebraties’ peronal
Correct your spelling
personal
lives
, but other people
disagree with this
case.It provides to
Change preposition
apply
people
to have get different experiences.
Those people
who follow celebrities, spend their time on social media to get information from their private lives
such
Change preposition
as maritual
maritual
status, age, family, properties, and hobbies.They think that these data can help them to buy luxurious goods.Correct your spelling
marital
On the other hand
, Other people
have opposite
idea.They want to stop Correct article usage
the opposite
this
issue because it can be destractive
for teenagers and Correct your spelling
destructive
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
people
.Because they want to have pattern in their lives
and they think this
method is the best choice.
In my point of view, it is better not to follow them.One reason is that this
action gives them excessive values
to them and famous celebrities think that they are really important to society, Fix the agreement mistake
value
while
they are the same as ordinary people
.The next resason
is about Correct your spelling
reason
season
people
’s goal
in their Fix the agreement mistake
goals
live
.If Replace the word
lives
people
do not care about famous people
, they can make their own road map for their lives
.
In conclusion, it is approval for some people
that media
shows famous Correct article usage
the media
people
’s lives
in details
but other Fix the agreement mistake
detail
people
disagree.I think it is better to not explore celebrities’ private lives
because not only it does not have benefit
for us but Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
also
it has side effects in
our Change preposition
on
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would greatly benefit from a clearer structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and uses linking words or phrases to show how ideas relate to each other.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the discussion well, but the conclusion could be more developed. Aim to summarize the key points made in the essay and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
Each main point that you make should be supported by examples or explanations. For instance, when you mention that the media can be destructive for teenagers, provide some details on how exactly it affects them.
task achievement
To improve relevance and specificity, try to include more concrete examples or evidence to back up your claims. For example, discuss specific incidents where media intrusion has harmed celebrities or their followers.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, and you've made an effort to present your own viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end, which helps convey your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.