Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In the contemporary era, social media is utilized daily for
communication
and accessing
news
stories, becoming a commonplace activity.
While
this
trend carries some drawbacks,
this
writer argues that the benefits of streamlining
communication
and enhancing
news
access outweigh the downside of toxic
content
. The most advantageous aspect of
this
trend is its potential to revolutionize modern
communication
methods.
Instead
of relying solely on face-to-face interaction, online
communication
tools
such
as chatting and video calls have become prevalent.
Moreover
, social networking sites transcend geographical barriers, enabling families living far apart to stay connected and maintain steady relationships.
Consequently
, these modern technologies have become ubiquitous tools for bridging interpersonal gaps.
Furthermore
, the positive impact of advancing
news
dissemination methods cannot be overlooked. It is essential to recognize that social networking
platforms
continuously streamline the process of accessing
news
. With just a few clicks, individuals can tap into a vast source of information, including the latest developments.
As a result
, navigating the expansive world of online
news
becomes more manageable for users.
However
, some users express apprehension about the prevalence of harmful
content
on social
platforms
. They argue that many
platforms
are rife with toxic
content
,
such
as violence and suicide-related material, which can disturb viewers' minds and potentially harm their mental health.
While
this
viewpoint is valid, leaders of these social
platforms
have implemented rigorous verification measures to mitigate the spread of harmful
content
.
Consequently
, their strict censorship efforts aim to alleviate the impact of adverse
content
. In conclusion, the drawbacks of detrimental
content
are outweighed by the modernized methods of
communication
and
news
access.
Therefore
, utilizing social
platforms
daily to stay connected with others remains a superior benefit in today's digital age.

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Task Achievement
Consider incorporating a broader range of specific examples to strengthen your argument. Adding detailed instances can provide a more robust foundation for your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
For even better cohesion, use a wider variety of linking words and phrases. While your essay flows well, diversifying your transitions can enhance readability and coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, effectively framing your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a clear logical structure, making your arguments easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task with a balanced perspective, weighing both advantages and disadvantages before stating your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global community
  • maintain relationships
  • immediate updates
  • self-expression
  • networking opportunities
  • overuse
  • misinformation
  • privacy concerns
  • personal data
  • culture of comparison
  • decreased self-esteem
  • dissatisfaction
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