Today more and more people want to things instantly. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, people lead
an
Change the article
a
show examples
hectic schedule which makes lives faster.
Furthermore
,
this
is the major cause of demanding for
things
intantly
Correct your spelling
instantly
intently
. I believe
this
is a positive development
due to
the advantages of encouraging in
devolopment
Correct your spelling
development
of the commercial and social prevalent values. It
is acknowledge
Change the verb form
is acknowledged
show examples
that
Correct article usage
the standard
show examples
standard
Correct article usage
the standard
show examples
of living is increasingly developed,
also
the cost of living
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
significantly
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
rose
Wrong verb form
risen
show examples
. In order to lead a comfortable and flexible lifestyle, people have to work busier.
As a result
, people's lives are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
faster so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
constant
things
.
For instance
, the invention of
ATM
Correct article usage
the ATM
show examples
is in favour of convenient, safe and faster money
transfer
Fix the agreement mistake
transfers
show examples
, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
alternatived
Correct your spelling
alternative
alternatives
complicated and long
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in mainstream banks.
As a consequence
, humans increasing demands are the sensible
evidents
Correct your spelling
evidence
evident
for demanding
things
immediately. It is true that wanting
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
things
immediately is an effective incentive for industrial and commercial developments. Obviously, producers and
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
have to speed up their services and mass-production processes in order to fulfil the
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
of customers.
As a result
,
elite
Correct article usage
the elite
show examples
workforce
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been trained and
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
the first precedence to
apdapt
Correct your spelling
adapt
to the increasing demands.
Moreover
, news has been updated with more urgent and significant information.
Consequently
, desiring for instant
things
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
the developments in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
also
reinforcing
Wrong verb form
reinforces
show examples
the the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
values
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. On balance, the root cause of instant needs is the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human demand.
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that
this
exerts positive impacts on humans.
Therefore
, there are still a minority of negative side effects of
this
change that should not be overlooked and authorities need to implement suitable policies to
ressolve
Correct your spelling
resolve
this
issue thoroughly.

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Structure
It's great that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making your position known. Focus on ensuring that your main points are consistently supported throughout, this will strengthen your argument significantly.
Vocabulary
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and aim for a varied vocabulary to enhance the richness of your essay.
Grammar
There are minor grammatical errors throughout the essay. While these do not majorly impact the overall understanding, improving accuracy in grammar and punctuation will elevate your writing.
Content
Your essay provides a reasoned argument for your view, but including more specific examples could make your points more convincing. Examples help illustrate your arguments and make them more tangible to the reader.
Structure
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion.
Understanding
You have a clear thesis and argument, showing an understanding of the task.
Coherence
Good attempt to link ideas and paragraphs, showing an understanding of coherence and cohesion principles.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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