Today more and more people want to things instantly. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, people lead
an
hectic schedule which makes lives faster. Change the article
a
Furthermore
, this
is the major cause of demanding for things
intantly
. I believe Correct your spelling
instantly
intently
this
is a positive development due to
the advantages of encouraging in devolopment
of the commercial and social prevalent values.
It Correct your spelling
development
is acknowledge
that Change the verb form
is acknowledged
Correct article usage
the standard
standard
of living is increasingly developed, Correct article usage
the standard
also
the cost of living is
significantly Verb problem
has
Wrong verb form
risen
rose
. In order to lead a comfortable and flexible lifestyle, people have to work busier. Wrong verb form
risen
As a result
, people's lives are become
faster so Wrong verb form
becoming
that
they demand Correct word choice
apply
for
constant Remove the preposition
apply
things
. For instance
, the invention of ATM
is in favour of convenient, safe and faster money Correct article usage
the ATM
transfer
, so Fix the agreement mistake
transfers
that
Correct word choice
apply
this
have
Change the verb form
has
alternatived
complicated and long Correct your spelling
alternative
alternatives
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
one
in mainstream banks. Correct pronoun usage
apply
As a consequence
, humans increasing demands are the sensible evidents
for demanding Correct your spelling
evidence
evident
things
immediately.
It is true that wanting for
Change preposition
apply
things
immediately is an effective incentive for industrial and commercial developments. Obviously, producers and business men
have to speed up their services and mass-production processes in order to fulfil the Correct your spelling
businessmen
potentials
of customers. Fix the agreement mistake
potential
As a result
, elite
workforce Correct article usage
the elite
have
been trained and Change the verb form
has
also
the first precedence to Add a missing verb
is also
apdapt
to the increasing demands. Correct your spelling
adapt
Moreover
, news has been updated with more urgent and significant information. Consequently
, desiring for instant things
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
promoting
the developments in Wrong verb form
promote
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
also
reinforcing
Wrong verb form
reinforces
the the
values Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
them
.
On balance, the root cause of instant needs is the increasing Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
human demand. Change preposition
apply
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that this
exerts positive impacts on humans. Therefore
, there are still a minority of negative side effects of this
change that should not be overlooked and authorities need to implement suitable policies to ressolve
Correct your spelling
resolve
this
issue thoroughly.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
It's great that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making your position known. Focus on ensuring that your main points are consistently supported throughout, this will strengthen your argument significantly.
Vocabulary
Try to avoid repetitive phrases and aim for a varied vocabulary to enhance the richness of your essay.
Grammar
There are minor grammatical errors throughout the essay. While these do not majorly impact the overall understanding, improving accuracy in grammar and punctuation will elevate your writing.
Content
Your essay provides a reasoned argument for your view, but including more specific examples could make your points more convincing. Examples help illustrate your arguments and make them more tangible to the reader.
Structure
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion.
Understanding
You have a clear thesis and argument, showing an understanding of the task.
Coherence
Good attempt to link ideas and paragraphs, showing an understanding of coherence and cohesion principles.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example