Some people think that computers are more of a hindrance than a help in today's society. Others believe that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

#people #computers #hindrance #help #society #tools #work

These days, it is commonly believed that

computers

are more inclined towards being an obstruction

instead

of providing assistance,

while

others advocate that they are essential in daily life.

Although

this

technology could be destructive at certain times, I must say that the advantages it offers outweigh the drawbacks.

To begin

with,

this

software technology can cause distractions if not used in the right way. There are a variety of futile contents especially in social media that would bring detrimental consequences towards cognitive development, especially for teenagers.

For example

, research indicates that an uncontrolled screen would reduce the attention span of students, resulting in low examination marks and bad performance in class. Plus, excessive exposure to blue lights from

computers

could affect human sight.

Nevertheless

, I contend that

computers

could bring substantial benefits if we utilise them correctly.

On the other hand

, it is commonly known that the Internet has become ubiquitous in modern society. There are numerous platforms that serve as valuable resources accessible at the fingertips of users,

such

as daily news and weather forecasts.

Furthermore

, the government has started to implement the usage of

this

technology in the educational system.

For example

, nowadays, many educational institutions allocate a specified time for students to have access to the school's

computers

in order to aid their assignments.

Therefore

, I support the view that

computers

are advantageous to society. In conclusion,

while

the negative impacts of

this

advancement can be challenging to control, I am convinced that the perks it provides are helpful to the community.

Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on Tue Jul 16 2024

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task achievement

While your essay addresses both sides of the argument and includes a clear opinion, make sure to fully explore and balance the discussion equally. Adding some more examples could further illustrate your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smooth flow between ideas by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words; this will enhance the overall readability of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your conclusion encapsulates the main points effectively. It should consolidate your arguments without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear framework for your essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, successfully discussing both sides of the argument.

task achievement

The examples you gave are relevant and help illustrate your points well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

hindrance
indispensable
over-reliance
privacy breaches
productivity
global communication
vast amounts of information
efficiency
connectivity

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Some people think that computers are more of a hindrance than a help in today's society. Others believe that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It's a country of people are encourage to work a travel for a year between in high school and study university discuss the advantage and disadvantage of people who decide to do this.

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects. To what extend do you are or disagree?