The advertisement promoting toys on television should be completely banned. How far you agree or disagree?

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Advertisement plays an important role in the promotion of any product, and the best way to make an announcement is

television

Change preposition

through television

show examples

However

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

report, I will explain why I do not completely agree with the statement.

To begin

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with, toys are attractive, joyful, beautiful, and

exoensive

Correct your spelling

expensive

extensive

. For

further

Linking Words

explanation, children do not care about costs;

therefore

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, seeing

such

Linking Words

things, they will be demanding, which will lead to many issues

Change preposition

for

show examples

the parents.

Furthermore

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, it is not possible for every family to buy expensive toys.

For example

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, many people post on social media that it is not possible to get every toy in local shops.

Moreover

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, Making ads is expensive;

as a consequence

Linking Words

, many stores higher the goods' costs, so avoiding making

advertisements

Use synonyms

is a helpful way to decrease the prices.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the ads should be either minimised or completely banned for viewers. Putting a complete ban on any product promotion cannot be the ideal solution. The company

also

Linking Words

pays a large amount of money to

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

advertisements

Use synonyms

for their goods, which in general provides jobs for the community.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the product's quality

checked

Add a missing verb

is checked

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by the ministry before allowing the facility to publish its goods, so it is essential to not stop it from promoting.

However

Linking Words

advertisements

Use synonyms

can be limited

within

Change preposition

show examples

specific regions and should be allowed only in metropolitan cities.

Hence

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, prohibiting ads is not fair for both

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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and workers. To summarize,

although

Linking Words

advertisements

Use synonyms

are important, helpful, beneficial, profitable, and strategic,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

cause minor problems with children and prices.

As a result

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, In my opinion, completely disallowing commercials is not the wise method.

haneenalnetaifMon May 13 2024

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Grammar & Punctuation

Be mindful of your grammar and punctuation usage. Small errors such as 'exoensive' instead of 'expensive' can slightly detract from the clarity of your argument.

Language Variety

Consider using a wider variety of sentence structures and linkers to improve the flow of your essay and make your arguments clearer.

Task Achievement

To enhance your task achievement score, try to provide more specific examples to back up your claims. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.

Proofreading

It's important to closely proofread your essay to catch and correct typographical errors, as they can slightly distract from your message.

Balanced Argument

You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.

Effective Introduction & Conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your stance.

Logical Argument

Your essay presents a logical argument, connecting ideas coherently across paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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The advertisement promoting toys on television should be completely banned. How far you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that a lot of research is a waste of time and money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?