Some people believe that the government spend too much money on wildlife protection projects and the money should be used for other things. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, almost any country with
developed
economy has a reserved place in its budget for foreign Correct article usage
a developed
aid
. There can be many reasons for that. One government has a humanitarian desire to help people living under difficult conditions in poorer countries, another wants to obtain a strong political connection. However
, negative
effects of helping other countries sometimes can outweigh Correct article usage
the negative
positive
ones.
Correct article usage
the positive
As
Change preposition
On
a
positive side, foreign Correct article usage
the
aid
can be a crucial boost to an economy which has a
great potential but struggles to find resources to realize it. Money from another government can lead to Remove the article
apply
a
plenty of new job positions for locals. Remove the article
apply
For instance
, China invested lots of economic resources to
Africa. To be more precise, several mines were built in African regions, Change preposition
in
therefore
, lots of vacancies were created. Many researches
define China’s help as a significant part of Africa’s economic growth.
Correct your spelling
researchers
As
Change preposition
On
a
negative side, many governments in Correct article usage
the
modern
world are deeply corrupted, Add an article
the modern
therefore
, foreign aid
in these countries has a great chance to be spent on political leaders’ needs instead
of economic needs. Thus
, there will be no positive impact of such
help. For instance
, giving money to a dictatorship can have catastrophic consequences. It not only makes a dictator wealthier but also
strengthen
his authority and Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
making
him rule the country longer.
Wrong verb form
makes
To sum up
, foreign aid
as an action is neither bad nor good. Decision
Add an article
The decision
of helping
another country must be carefully considered beforehand. If both sides understand under which conditions it is given and obey the rules of spending it, in my opinion, Change preposition
to help
aid
will have only positive effects.Submitted by dulskywork on
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task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt given. Your essay discusses foreign aid rather than wildlife protection, which may indicate a misunderstanding of the task requirement.
coherence and cohesion
Introduce your main points more clearly in your introduction to guide your reader through your argument.
task response
Use a conclusion that not only summarizes your main points but also restates your position clearly in relation to the prompt provided.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion with concrete examples, enhancing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Logical progression of ideas with adequately supported main points,
task achievement
Effective use of examples to support your points boosts the relevancy and specificity of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?