Some people believe that the government spend too much money on wildlife protection projects and the money should be used for other things. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, almost any country with
developed
Correct article usage
a developed
show examples
economy has a reserved place in its budget for foreign
aid
. There can be many reasons for that. One government has a humanitarian desire to help people living under difficult conditions in poorer countries, another wants to obtain a strong political connection.
However
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
effects of helping other countries sometimes can outweigh
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
ones.
As
Change preposition
On
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
positive side, foreign
aid
can be a crucial boost to an economy which has
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great potential but struggles to find resources to realize it. Money from another government can lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of new job positions for locals.
For instance
, China invested lots of economic resources
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Africa. To be more precise, several mines were built in African regions,
therefore
, lots of vacancies were created. Many
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
define China’s help as a significant part of Africa’s economic growth.
As
Change preposition
On
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
negative side, many governments in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world are deeply corrupted,
therefore
, foreign
aid
in these countries has a great chance to be spent on political leaders’ needs
instead
of economic needs.
Thus
, there will be no positive impact of
such
help.
For instance
, giving money to a dictatorship can have catastrophic consequences. It not only makes a dictator wealthier but
also
strengthen
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
show examples
his authority and
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
him rule the country longer.
To sum up
, foreign
aid
as an action is neither bad nor good.
Decision
Add an article
The decision
show examples
of helping
Change preposition
to help
show examples
another country must be carefully considered beforehand. If both sides understand under which conditions it is given and obey the rules of spending it, in my opinion,
aid
will have only positive effects.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt given. Your essay discusses foreign aid rather than wildlife protection, which may indicate a misunderstanding of the task requirement.
coherence and cohesion
Introduce your main points more clearly in your introduction to guide your reader through your argument.
task response
Use a conclusion that not only summarizes your main points but also restates your position clearly in relation to the prompt provided.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion with concrete examples, enhancing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Logical progression of ideas with adequately supported main points,
task achievement
Effective use of examples to support your points boosts the relevancy and specificity of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • moral obligation
  • extinction
  • economic benefits
  • ecosystem services
  • sustainable development
  • environmental preservation
  • long-term ecological and economic costs
  • investments in wildlife protection
  • biodiversity loss
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!