IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programmes to get their news and instead read online. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, more people are receiving
news
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 through online mediums
instead
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 of traditional means,
such
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 as newspapers and TV programs. Despite some of the drawbacks, I still think
this
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 is a positive development. There are some reasons why I think
this
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 generally is a positive trend.
Firstly
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, switching from newspapers to an online medium means doing the environment a
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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.
For example
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, if a person consumes even one newspaper per day, in total, it is still hundreds of pages of print a week. Reading newspapers would mean cutting down multiple trees and producing ink frequently just for one person's consumption.
Secondly
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, receiving
news
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 through websites or online channels gives you more
control
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as to
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over
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 what content you want to view.
For example
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, if you only rely on one TV program for your daily dose of information, you will miss out on the
news
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 not covered
for
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by
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 that channel,
such
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 as international or entertainment
news
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.
However
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, despite these benefits, there are still some considerations to be made when switching to an online
news
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 outlet. The first thing is that reading
news
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 online can be very distracting
due to
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 readers having complete
control
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 of the content that he or she
reads
Correct subject-verb agreement
read
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.
For example
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, many people go online just for a casual read but
then
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 find themselves deeply engaged in a discussion thread,
thus
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 wasting their time.
Secondly
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,
news
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 on the Internet is unedited, which means that the sources of
this
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 type of information can be unverifiable. Many have fallen victim to fake
news
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 posted on the Internet. In conclusion, saving the environment and being in
control
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 of your content are the two main benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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development.
However
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, proper censorship and advertisement
control
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 should be in use for
the
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apply
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Internet
news
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outlet
Fix the agreement mistake
outlets
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.

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Style
Your introduction skillfully sets up your discussion, clearly indicating that you view the shift to online news as positive. Consider using a slightly more varied range of complex sentence structures for an enhanced impression.
Content
Include a wider range of examples to support your points, particularly with regard to the negative aspects of online news. This will enhance the depth of your essay.
Structure
It's commendable how you structured your essay, with clear paragraphs for each main idea. To further improve, try linking your paragraphs more seamlessly, using phrases that better show the relationship between paragraphs.
Balance
While you have introduced some negative aspects, a more balanced view might also consider the positives of critical engagement and the potential for education through interactive online news sources. This would show an even deeper level of analysis.
Content
Great job on making the environmental benefits of online news a key point, highlighting a unique and relevant aspect of the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points, reinforcing your stance in a clear and persuasive manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • convenient
  • accessible
  • investigative journalism
  • real-time updates
  • proliferation
  • information overload
  • discern
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • environmental benefits
  • personalize
  • echo chambers
  • political engagement
  • awareness
  • traditional means
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