IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

most high level -position in companies filled by men even through the workforce in many developed countries is more 50% female companies should be required to allocate certain % of these portion to wome

It is argued that companies should be legally required to appoint a certain proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 to high-level positions.
This
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 essay fully agrees with
this
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 statement because
women
Use synonyms
 are equally capable of performing at the same level as
men
Use synonyms
, and they have already demonstrated outstanding achievements across various academic and professional fields.
Women
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 possess the ability to perform at the same professional level as
men
Use synonyms
. They hold equivalent qualifications and knowledge,
as well as
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 diverse professional skills. Many modern jobs rely primarily on mental ability, communication, and decision-making.
Therefore
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, females have proven
this
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 through their leadership roles during their careers, demonstrating that they can perform just as effectively as
men
Use synonyms
.
or
Use the right word
For
show examples
 instance, recent research involving both genders found that females often outperform males in several essential skills
such
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 as communication, organisation, and multitasking.
Furthermore
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,
women
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 are currently excelling in many sectors because they tend to be more focused and consistent in their work. They have proven their competence by achieving high academic scores and remarkable success across a wide range of scientific and professional disciplines.
In addition
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, they show strong responsibility and commitment toward both their professional duties and personal lives. By focusing on education and continuous self-development,
women
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 demonstrate that they can succeed in any field traditionally dominated by
men
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.
For example
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, a recent report highlighted the rapid increase of
women
Use synonyms
 in areas
such
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 as law and medicine, reflecting the expanding female presence in leadership roles. In conclusion,
men
Use synonyms
 should not be given the majority of senior positions in business, as
women
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 are equally capable of achieving success and leading effectively. Their proven qualifications, sense of responsibility, and strong leadership make them fully deserving of equal representation in high-level roles.

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coherence
Add clear links between ideas with simple join words like first, next, and finally.
content
Give one strong example and say how it proves the point.
analysis
Mention a limit or a need to map a plan for the idea, and then show how to fix it later.
content
The writer shows a clear view and keeps to the topic.
structure
The flow has a start and end that are easy to see.
content
Examples are used to show ideas.
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