IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

most high level -position in companies filled by men even through the workforce in many developed countries is more 50% female companies should be required to allocate certain % of these portion to wome

It is argued that companies should be legally required to appoint a certain proportion of
women
Use synonyms
 to high-level positions.
This
Linking Words
 essay fully agrees with
this
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 statement because
women
Use synonyms
 are equally capable of performing at the same level as
men
Use synonyms
, and they have already demonstrated outstanding achievements across various academic and professional fields.
Women
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 possess the ability to perform at the same professional level as
men
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, as they often hold equivalent qualifications and demonstrate advanced knowledge
along with
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 diverse professional skills.
While
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 many modern jobs rely primarily on mental ability, communication, and decision-making,
women
Use synonyms
 have consistently proven to excel in these areas through their strong performance and adaptability.
Moreover
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, they frequently display remarkable leadership qualities, enabling them to guide teams to work more effectively and harmoniously.
For instance
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, recent research involving both genders found that females often outperform males in several essential skills
such
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 as communication, organisation, and multitasking.
Furthermore
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,
women
Use synonyms
 are currently excelling in many sectors because they tend to be more focused and consistent in their work. They have proven their competence by achieving high academic scores and remarkable success across a wide range of scientific and professional disciplines.
In addition
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, they show strong responsibility and commitment toward both their professional duties and personal lives. By focusing on education and continuous self-development,
women
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 demonstrate that they can succeed in any field traditionally dominated by
men
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.
For example
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, a recent report highlighted the rapid increase of
women
Use synonyms
 in areas
such
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 as law and medicine, reflecting the expanding female presence in leadership roles. In conclusion,
men
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 should not be given the majority of senior positions in business, as
women
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 are equally capable of achieving success and leading effectively. Their proven qualifications, sense of responsibility, and strong leadership make them fully deserving of equal representation in high-level roles.

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structure
Your view is clear and you stay on topic from start to end. Use a short plan in the intro and then follow with points that fit the plan.
evidence
Add more real facts or numbers to back your claims.
cohesion
Link ideas with clear and simple words. Try one idea per paragraph and use sign‑post words to move from one idea to the next.
language
Some long sentences make the message less easy to read. Use shorter sentences for better clarity.
content
Clear stance and a full use of examples that fit the claim.
structure
Good use of link words and a clear order of ideas.
theme
The idea that women can lead and match men in big jobs is well shown.
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