In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances. What are the causes of this phonomenon and what are the some of possible solution

Nowadays, taking prohibited mixtures is an increasing trend among athletes in various
sports
fields.
This
essay will discuss the main causes associated with
this
habit, and provide a possible solution. I believe that the main reason is the rapid effectiveness of
this
method, and a viable solution would be a ban on the sale of these drinks. To start with, one of the reasons is the lack of motivation to work out and the absence of patience.
Instead
of working out and upholding
sports
values, individuals consume substances that give them the illusion of strength.
This
approach is much easier and demands no physical activity,
however
, it poses a threat to sportsmen`s health.
For instance
, a person who consumes prohibited remedies
such
as anabolic steroids to improve athletic performance without any effort
,
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will gain muscle mass faster than those who use natural products, regardless of the side effects of these mixtures. The best solution to
this
problem is to involve state forces and forbid their sale. If a governmental body imposes a fine for illegal trade, the cases of taking these medications will be remarkably decreased. Deprived of banned substances, individuals would have no other choice but to quit poisoning their own bodies .Implementing
this
idea would be beneficial for the
overall
development in the sphere of
sports
and can be a head start for a drug-free sport.
To sum up
, there is a huge problem related to forbidden medications in professional
sports
. The main reason for
this
phenomenon is a lack of inspiration and a preference for the
ease
Correct your spelling
easy
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method, and to partly alleviate
this
problem
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should be taken measures to ban illegal trading.
Submitted by chtpstmy42 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Try using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas. Currently, the essay has a good logical structure, but some transitions feel a bit abrupt.
task achievement
While you provided relevant specific examples, adding more detailed examples or referencing real-world scenarios could strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention famous doping scandals to add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which encapsulate the main points effectively.
task achievement
You provided a comprehensive response to the task by identifying both causes and solutions for the issue of banned substances in sports. This makes the essay well-rounded.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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