IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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An argument has arisen between the two groups. Some people believe that animal testing is violating and should be banned
while
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 others say that it leads to scientific discoveries that benefit humankind. I will present the effects of animal testing
along with
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 its safer
alternatives
Use synonyms
 in
this
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 essay. First of all, I do believe that any experiment on animals should not be justified as it only harms them.
Moreover
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, it violates their rights to live peacefully in their habitat.
For example
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, from what I have learned so far, animal testing is commonly used to produce cosmetic products. Imagine how many organisms have been killed to obtain one successful product.
Instead
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 of seeking some
alternatives
Use synonyms
, these companies keep wasting innocent lives. If
this
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 situation continues to occur, the ecosystem might be damaged because of the absence of certain organisms that will affect the food chains.
However
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, many
alternatives
Use synonyms
 to avoid the use of animal experiments are actually developed.
For instance
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, using natural ingredients and artificial skin to test on. These are already implemented by some enterprises that are aware of our environment.
Although
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 they use natural-based composition, their products are still acceptable to the public, even successfully creating a new eco-friendly trend. On the other side, the application of artificial skin
also
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 does the same. The sales of the products continue to rise as people's concerns about their nature increase. In conclusion, experimentation on animals cannot be justified because of the everlasting painful effects. To address
this
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 problem, it should be eradicated, and use any
alternatives
Use synonyms
 that are safe for nature.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure that your main points are elaborated with more detailed examples or evidence. This would provide stronger support and make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can be achieved by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by clearly dividing your essay into separate paragraphs that focus exclusively on one main idea or argument each. This can help in making your essay easier to follow.
structure
The introduction sets the context well and clearly states the intention to discuss both sides of the argument, which provides a strong framework for the essay.
structure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear stance on the issue, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.
language
The ideas are clearly presented, and the language used is appropriate and easy to understand, which aids in effective communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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