People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Society now has the liberty to work and live anywhere in the world
due to
the improvement of transmission automation and transportation. In my opinion, the advantages of this
outweigh the disadvantages.
On the one hand, it is important to note that, nowadays, with the expansion of machinery, our lives have significantly improved, as now we can travel the world and visit other countries compared to society 20 years ago. Back in those days, folk did not have the freedom to act upon how they felt, and it was always the same for everyone. The common misperception that they heard was “What would others think?” and nobody could do anything because everyone was afraid of each other’s opinions. On the contrary
, in the 2020s, with the development of expertise, the population can study for double masters, take PhD courses, and even work abroad. With the use of online platforms such
as WhatsApp, Skype, and Zoom, you can talk with anyone of your choice from the comfort of your home.
On the other hand
, it is important to remember that not everyone has these advantages. Such
as kids in Africa or other underdeveloped countries, cannot do anything to get into good colleges and have a successful life. Others shun each other, while
they (the kids in Africa) are living in filth and cannot even get proper water. When others are complaining about their thesis being out-of-date, they cannot even complain about the seawater being too greasy and undrinkable. So, no matter how much automation has developed, it has not developed that much, because if it did, the underprivileged and the poor would have equal opportunities as the ones living in the high- ranks of our world’s standards.
In conclusion, it is safe to say that, in my opinion, no matter how much technology has put us forward, it hasn’t put us too forward to help the poor and underprivileged. We should always be kind to others and always help those in need.Submitted by checkmyessay9 on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear opinion and attempts to discuss both the positive and negative aspects, it should present a more balanced view to fully address the question 'Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?' By extensively anаlyzing both sides and giving a more thorough comparison, the essay could achieve a higher score in task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay reveals a basic logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, transitions between paragraphs could be smoother, allowing for better flow and coherence. Using clear linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph naturally leads to the next would improve the readability and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is comprehensive, effectively setting the tone for the essay and clearly stating the writer's opinion.
supported main points
The essay utilizes some varied vocabulary and showcases an understanding of the topic, supporting points with relevant ideas and examples.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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