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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the number of museum partons by age between 1997 and 2003.

The table below shows the number of museum partons by age between 1997 and 2003.
The table chart illustrates the number of museum
visitors
Use synonyms
 between 1997 and 2003.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, people under 31
years
Use synonyms
 old are the dominant museum
visitors
Use synonyms
 throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. Especially, people from 15 to 30
years
Use synonyms
 old accounted for the largest portion. The next large group is adolescents (under 16
years
Use synonyms
 old). The total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 steadily increased during the
period
Use synonyms
, except between 1997 and 1998, when there was a slight decline. It is noteworthy that people over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old hardly visit museums.
This
Linking Words
 figure was less than 100
visitors
Use synonyms
 throughout the
period
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, two age groups (31-45 and 46-60
years
Use synonyms
 old) fluctuated at 6,000
visitors
Use synonyms
 and 1,000
visitors
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 young age groups (0-15 and 16-30
years
Use synonyms
 old) showed large proportions of
visitors
Use synonyms
, the other age groups accounted for small proportions over the
period
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, years, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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