The table below shows statistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.
The table illustrates the USA which is in the second level, strangely had the most earnings from these sightseers.
range
of international visitors in 5 countries
between 2012 and 2013. In this
table there are two general information regarding their visit to this
5 Correct determiner usage
these
countries
which are number
of Change the article
a number
the number
tourists
in 2 years and also
the income that was received from their spending in different areas in their travel.
Unlike China
, all other countries
had a moderate increase in number
of tourists
between the year
of 2012 and 2013. Although
China
had a gradual decrease in number
of Change the article
a number
the number
tourists
in 2013, the incomes from these travellers have been
increased in all Unnecessary verb
apply
countries
even in China
which is Correct article usage
an unforseen
unforseen
result. Correct your spelling
unforeseen
In addition
, it has been clearly shown that Spain
and China
has
Change the verb form
have
similar
Add an article
a similar
range
of travellers in the year
2012 but in the next year
, China
had
faced a decrease and Unnecessary verb
apply
Spain
experienced an
moderate increase.
Change the article
a
This
table shows that France
had the most number
of travellers among these 5 countries
on the other hand
, Italy had the lowest range
however
, despite the fact that France
had the highest amount of sightseers in the year
,Correct article usage
the
This
fact might be a result of That
USA has more Correct determiner usage
the the
sightseeings
all over the country Fix the agreement mistake
sightseeing
compare
to Change the form of the verb
compared
the
Correct article usage
apply
France
or other countries
which is because of possesing
Correct your spelling
possessing
of
wide land rather than other lands. It should Change preposition
apply
also
be mentioned that despite the fact that France
had more visitors than Spain
, the received money from tourists
are
likely Wrong verb form
was
equal
in the first Add the particle
to equal
year
but in the second year
, Spain
had had
received more earnings Remove the redundancy
apply
compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
the
Correct article usage
apply
France
.
In conclusion, after comparing these 5 lands with each other, it's obvious that the number
of explorers in a year
is not related to the received money from them. There are some factors that can have a straight
effect on Correct word choice
direct
the
income Correct article usage
apply
such
as policy
of the tourist destination and the Add an article
the policy
a policy
number
of landmarks or sightseeings
in that destination. Fix the agreement mistake
sightseeing
Countries
could increase the number
of visitors and the range
of medium eranings
from them Correct your spelling
earnings
readings
with
creating more Change preposition
by
intresting
areas for explorers or maybe Correct your spelling
interesting
make
the visa procedure Wrong verb form
making
more easy
.Replace the words
easier
Submitted by maryamnikfekr on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words range, countries, number, tourists, china, year, spain, france with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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