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Writing Samples
Band 8

With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#help #technology #students #information
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These days, children are able to learn more quickly and reap more data
as a result
 of technological development, in my aspect, I strongly agree with
this
 thought as a student. At first glance, as commonly seen, many technologies are available in most stores
hence
 people can access them easily and turn them into learning machines,
besides
 that, the books' costs abruptly disappear since the crowds search the information through the internet
instead
 of buying those printed papers, studying with technologies still turns up many benefits.
For instance
, many beneficial articles are written by many folks
thus
 the information is various,
furthermore
, children are able to not only find more data but
also
 able to check whether or not those statements are correct. On top of that, during periods of bad situations
such
 as crime, epidemics and infection, a large percentage of educational institutions have to prescribe measures
according to
 the order from the government.
For example
,
while
 the number of the crowds infected by COVID-19 was increasing, the government laid down lots of measures to resolve the trouble, one of them was school closure
therefore
 children had to study from home, from the situation, technology was the most important factor, to add to the problem, the kids seemed to be impressed with the change thanks to the ease and speed. In conclusion, in my opinion, I opine that, with the help of technology, kids can learn more easily and more quickly
due to
 the variety and good handling of unexpected incidents,
additionally
, I admit that development ought to be considered a way to benefits.
Submitted by nutthan.aud on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify and refine your ideas by focusing on presenting them in a more structured manner. Break down your arguments into clear paragraphs, each supporting a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay by using a variety of linking phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
language proficiency
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and try to minimize errors in your writing. While minor inaccuracies are tolerable, consistent mistakes can impact the overall clarity of your message.
language proficiency
Try to include a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic. Using specific terms can help demonstrate your understanding of the subject matter.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the essay question, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your viewpoint, contributing to a well-rounded argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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