growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

#people #animals #rights #humans #food #research

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Some people believe that

animals

should be treated in the same way

humans

are and have similar rights,

whereas

others think that it is more important to use them as we desire for food and medical research.

This

essay will Interpret both points of view. With regard to the exploitation of

animals

, people believe it is acceptable for several reasons.

Firstly

, they think that

humans

are the most important beings on the planet, and everything must be done to ensure human survival. If

this

means experimenting on

animals

so that we can fight and find cures for diseases,

then

this

takes priority over animal suffering.

Furthermore

, it is believed by some that

animals

do not feel pain or loss as

humans

do, so if we have to kill

animals

for cuisine or other uses,

then

this

is morally acceptable.

However

, I do not believe these arguments stand up to scrutiny. The first reason is that it has been shown on numerous occasions by secret filming in laboratories via animal rights groups that

animals

feel as much pain as communities do, and they suffer when they are kept in cages for long periods. Not only

this

, a substantial amount of animal research is done for cosmetics, not to find cures for diseases, so

this

is unnecessary.

Finally

, it has

also

been proven that

humans

can get all the nutrients and vitamins that they need from green vegetables and fruit.

Therefore

, again, having to kill

animals

for feed is not an adequate argument.

To sum up

although

some people argue killing

animals

for research and

fare

Correct your spelling

fair

show examples

is ethical, I would argue there is sufficient evidence to demonstrate that

this

is not the case, and,

therefore

, steps must be taken to improve the rights of

animals

Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on Tue May 14 2024

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task achievement

Ensure you closely tie all your main points back to the topic to enhance relevance. For example, when discussing that experiments for cosmetics are unnecessary, relate it specifically to animal welfare and rights to solidify the connection to the essay topic.

task achievement

Try to balance both perspectives more evenly. Although your opinion is clear, providing slightly more detailed counterarguments can strengthen the essay.

coherence cohesion

Make your transitions between paragraphs smoother, and clearly highlight connections between points. This will improve the logical structure and flow of your writing.

coherence cohesion

Improve the cohesion by using a broader range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points, providing a solid base for your essay.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments and presents a clear viewpoint, reinforcing your stance on the issue.

logical structure

Your arguments are well-organized and follow a logical progression, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of thought.

complete response

You present a balanced view, addressing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Exploitation
Animal welfare
Ethical treatment
Vegetarianism
Veganism
Cognitive dissonance
Humane
Live stock
Cruelty-free
Bioethics
Conservation
Habitat preservation
Ecosystem
Biodiversity
Animal testing
Synthetic biology
Genetic engineering
Speciesism
Animal husbandry
Sustainable farming

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growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The plans show the layout of the university’s sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

Describe a writer you would like to meet. You should say: who the writer is what you know about this writer already what you would like to find out about him/her and explain why you would like to meet this writer.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?