growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

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Some people believe that
animals
should be treated in the same way
humans
are and have similar rights,
whereas
others think that it is more important to use them as we desire for food and medical research.
This
essay will Interpret both points of view. With regard to the exploitation of
animals
, people believe it is acceptable for several reasons.
Firstly
, they think that
humans
are the most important beings on the planet, and everything must be done to ensure human survival. If
this
means experimenting on
animals
so that we can fight and find cures for diseases,
then
this
takes priority over animal suffering.
Furthermore
, it is believed by some that
animals
do not feel pain or loss as
humans
do, so if we have to kill
animals
for cuisine or other uses,
then
this
is morally acceptable.
However
, I do not believe these arguments stand up to scrutiny. The first reason is that it has been shown on numerous occasions by secret filming in laboratories via animal rights groups that
animals
feel as much pain as communities do, and they suffer when they are kept in cages for long periods. Not only
this
, a substantial amount of animal research is done for cosmetics, not to find cures for diseases, so
this
is unnecessary.
Finally
, it has
also
been proven that
humans
can get all the nutrients and vitamins that they need from green vegetables and fruit.
Therefore
, again, having to kill
animals
for feed is not an adequate argument.
To sum up
,
although
some people argue killing
animals
for research and
fare
Correct your spelling
fair
show examples
is ethical, I would argue there is sufficient evidence to demonstrate that
this
is not the case, and,
therefore
, steps must be taken to improve the rights of
animals
.
Submitted by praveenmodi28596 on

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task achievement
Ensure you closely tie all your main points back to the topic to enhance relevance. For example, when discussing that experiments for cosmetics are unnecessary, relate it specifically to animal welfare and rights to solidify the connection to the essay topic.
task achievement
Try to balance both perspectives more evenly. Although your opinion is clear, providing slightly more detailed counterarguments can strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make your transitions between paragraphs smoother, and clearly highlight connections between points. This will improve the logical structure and flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the cohesion by using a broader range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points, providing a solid base for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments and presents a clear viewpoint, reinforcing your stance on the issue.
logical structure
Your arguments are well-organized and follow a logical progression, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of thought.
complete response
You present a balanced view, addressing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Animal welfare
  • Ethical treatment
  • Vegetarianism
  • Veganism
  • Cognitive dissonance
  • Humane
  • Live stock
  • Cruelty-free
  • Bioethics
  • Conservation
  • Habitat preservation
  • Ecosystem
  • Biodiversity
  • Animal testing
  • Synthetic biology
  • Genetic engineering
  • Speciesism
  • Animal husbandry
  • Sustainable farming
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