In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In many republics,

alcohol

Use synonyms

advertising is banned, and

this

Linking Words

essay agrees with

this

Linking Words

approach. The

consumption

Use synonyms

alcohol

Use synonyms

can destroy families and advertisers' influence can undermine individuals' self-identity. Advertising alcoholic beverages should be prohibited because

alcohol

Use synonyms

significantly affects both the mental and physical well-being of individuals. Excessive

alcohol

Use synonyms

consumption

Use synonyms

can lead to various mental

health

Use synonyms

issues

such

Linking Words

as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, which have severe impacts on an individual’s

overall

Linking Words

life.

Furthermore

Linking Words

alcohol

Use synonyms

abuse not only harms the individual but

also

Linking Words

negatively affects their family and friends. In the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS) countries, particularly in Russia,

alcohol

Use synonyms

-related deaths were alarmingly high.

However

Linking Words

, after Russia banned

alcohol

Use synonyms

advertising on television, there was a noticeable decrease in

such

Linking Words

deaths, demonstrating the positive impact of

such

Linking Words

a prohibition. Another reason why "drinks of death" should not be advertised is the manipulative nature of

such

Linking Words

marketing campaigns. Advertisers aim to increase

alcohol

Use synonyms

sales, regardless of whether individuals have already exceeded safe

consumption

Use synonyms

limits. They are indifferent to the detrimental consequences their products have on people's lives. Commercials often portray

alcohol

Use synonyms

as a luxurious or desirable product, suggesting that its

consumption

Use synonyms

leads to happiness or social success.

For example

Linking Words

, an advertisement for Corona beer might depict a beautiful woman enjoying a beer on a beach, creating an association between the product and an idealized lifestyle.

However

Linking Words

, these advertisements rarely highlight the severe

health

Use synonyms

risks associated with

alcohol

Use synonyms

consumption

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, advertising alcoholic beverages should be banned globally to prevent the manipulation of consumers and the associated

health

Use synonyms

risks. Companies should not be allowed to profit at the expense of public

health

Use synonyms

. I sincerely hope that all countries will eventually prohibit

alcohol

Use synonyms

advertising to safeguard their populations.

interclass1982Tue Jul 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized and focused, but consider expanding the introduction to provide a bit more context. Clarify the specific stance early to ensure the reader knows your position from the beginning.

task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that your points are not just supported but thoroughly examined. Delving deeper into the relationship between advertising and alcohol consumption can strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures can enhance the clarity and richness of your essay. Avoiding repetition and diversifying your language can keep the reader engaged and showcase your proficiency.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph contributing to your overall argument. This makes your writing easy to follow and understand.

task achievement

You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the situation in Russia. This strengthens the credibility of your argument and demonstrates your knowledge.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both effectively written, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing your main points. This creates a cohesive and compelling argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?
In many nations, some people have a tendency to spend more time at their workplace. This essay attempts to provide further clarifications upon this tendency before concluding that it is detrimental to both workers themselves and their families.
7.5
band
Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.
Some think that time spent on TV and computer games could be beneficial for children, while others think it could be detrimental. Although children would be able to gain more knowledge about different topics, I believe that other activities such as playing outdoor games would be more beneficial for the child's overall health.
7
band
You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer In your letter • remind your employer what the course was about • explain why the course was useful to you in your work • suggest why the course may be suitable for some of your 5.
I am writing to share about the course I attended last week. Additionally, I would like to provide my personal perspectives about the courses and discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the learning lessons.
8
band
Some say the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others say that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some argue that the most effective way to manage public health problems would be to produce new pharmaceuticals, while others imply that supporting healthy habits represents a better option. This essay believes that although a great variety of medicines provide straight solutions to certain diseases, a balanced lifestyle would always be the key to avoiding them.
6
band
In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?
There are countries around the world in which it is difficult for individuals to get recruited in reputed organisations with good jobs when they are over 50 despite having relevant experience. In this essay, I will discuss some of the reasons for this problem and how this issue impacts people.

In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In many countries, people are spending more hours at their workplace. Why is that? Is that a negative and positive development?

Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.

Some say the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others say that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?