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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below shows statistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.

The table below shows statistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.
#statistics #five #countries #tourism
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The table illustrates the five
countries
Use synonyms
' rankings for international tourism in 2012 and 2013. The information includes the total number of tourist (measured in millions) and their spending over the years (measured in
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
show examples
US
Change preposition
of US
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 Dollars).
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that France was the top country with the largest number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 throughout the given period.
However
Linking Words
, in regard to the international visitors' spending, the USA was in the first place. In terms of the top two
countries
Use synonyms
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
tourists
Use synonyms
 in France was 83.0 in 2012 and 84.7 in 2013,
while
Linking Words
 in the USA, the total
overseas
Correct quantifier usage
number of overseas
show examples
 visitors
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 66.7 and 69.8.
However
Linking Words
, the tourist spending in France decreased from 53.6 to 56.1. Meanwhile, in the USA, the expenditure rose to 139.6.
Regarding the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 other three
countries
Use synonyms
, there were Spain, China, and Italy with the number of
tourists
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 reaching 57.5, 57.7, and 46.4, respectively in 2012. The amount of tourist increased by around 1-2 in the next year.
Similarly
Linking Words
, how much money was spent by
tourists
Use synonyms
 in the three
countries
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 went up to 60.4 for Spain, 51.7 for China, and 43.9 for Italy.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, tourists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tourist arrivals
  • influx of tourists
  • economic impact
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • revenue generation
  • geographical distribution
  • popular destination
  • regional analysis
  • natural attractions
  • cultural heritage
  • seasonal trends
  • tourism patterns
  • climatic conditions
  • tourism preferences
  • adventure tourism
  • eco-tourism
  • cultural tourism
  • holiday seasons
  • local events
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