IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

An Australian friend is coming to visit you, and it will be his/her birthday during the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • say how you feel about the visit? • suggest what you could do on his/her birthday? • ask what your friend thinks of your idea? Write at least 150 words

#australian #friend #visit #birthday #idea
Hello Mark! I am glad to hear from you and I want to suggest to you some ideas about how we can celebrate your birthday.
To begin
 with, I am immensely happy that you are coming here. I still can't believe that
this
 isn't a joke from you. I have already told my mother that you will stay in our house and we started preparing a room for you. I have so much to show you and so many places on my list where we can go together.
Secondly
, I have been dwelling on what we can do on your birthday and I came up with the idea. How do you feel about going to the neighbouring village to try rafting? It is a water sport and
this
 is the only place from all over Ukraine where people can have
such
 an experience. After that, we can go to the restaurant, which offers delicious food, called "Panorama".
To sum up
, I would like to hear your opinion. Text me as soon as possible, because I want to book places for us in advance. I look forward to your reply. Kseniia
Submitted by ksrnnn on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your letter is strong, with a clear sequence of ideas. However, ensure each paragraph fully develops a single idea. For instance, separating your thoughts on the birthday plan and restaurant visit into different paragraphs might enhance clarity.
task achievement
There is a slight inconsistency in tone when mentioning that this might be a joke. It might be better to rephrase for a smoother flow, such as 'I hope you are not joking this time.'
task achievement
Your letter covers all the necessary points: your feelings about the visit, the birthday plan, and asking for your friend's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of your letter are appropriate and warm, creating a friendly tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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