IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.
They give a line graph
illustrates
Wrong verb form
illustrating
show examples
 the figure of
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 that closed and
also
Linking Words
 the figure of the recent
shops
Use synonyms
 opened in one country from 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
 , in 2011 the
Use synonyms
shops
Change the noun form
shop
show examples
 openings
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the higher
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 that opened ,
while
Linking Words
 the
shop
Use synonyms
 closures constituted the higher
number
Use synonyms
 in 2014 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2018 the
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the larger
number
Use synonyms
. In terms of
shops
Use synonyms
 that closed , it went down slightly to 6000 between 2011 and 2012.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the figure of
shop
Use synonyms
closet
Fix the agreement mistake
closets
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 fluctuated from 2012 until 2014, and
then
Linking Words
 it plummeted rapidly to 1000 from 2014 to 2015 but it improved quickly to 6000 during one year.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of closures
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
waved from 2016 to 2018.
In constant
Change preposition
Constant
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, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
opening
Fix the agreement mistake
openings
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 decreased speedily
4000
Change preposition
from 4000
show examples
2011
Change preposition
in 2011
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 to 2012 , yet it increased to 6000 within two years.
While
Linking Words
 it fell to 4000
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2014 until 2015 , and
then
Linking Words
 it
unchanged
Add a missing verb
was unchanged
show examples
 for one year , but it
grown
Add the auxiliary verb
grew
has grown
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 slowly from 2016 to 2017 , after which it dropped to 3000 in 2018 .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shop, shops, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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