Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

#species #animals #risk

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A wide range of

animals

Use synonyms

are present in different parts of the world. There are

variety

Add an article

a variety

show examples

animals

Use synonyms

that have disappeared and only a few still exist. The risk factors involved here can affect the other

animals

Use synonyms

soon. I would like to discuss the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

and preventive measures to reduce

this

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problem. On the one hand, people are expanding their living space by removing trees and many other natural resources.

This

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is affecting the living conditions for a few species as the rainfall is less

due to

Linking Words

the cut-down of trees.

Furthermore

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, cutting large numbers of trees makes the climate warmer and it will affect the

animals

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which used to live in colder climates.

As a result

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. these

animals

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will eventually be getting reduced.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, we could see people are taking care of pet

animals

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but not protecting the wild

animals

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and there are

also

Linking Words

hunting and other things affecting them.

This

Linking Words

could

also

Linking Words

lead to a slow decrease in their population which eventually makes them extinct.

For instance

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, many countries haven't protected the tiger for a long time and now we can see the recent survey says there are only thousands of them all over the world.

Similarly

Linking Words

, there are other range of

animals

Use synonyms

need

Correct pronoun usage

that need

show examples

protection as their lives are in danger

due to

Linking Words

not maintaining the forest and people encroaching on their borders. In conclusion, we should provide a nice environment for a variety of

animals

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without disturbing their natural conditions and

also

Linking Words

try to protect them so their population will not disappear soon.

Submitted by mailramkrish on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a relevant response to the task, but it could elaborate more on the reasons and solutions to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples and explanations to make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion present. However, a more logical progression and connection between points would enhance coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition of ideas and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly with clear topic sentences.

introduction conclusion present

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in the overall readability of your essay.

supported main points

Your points on deforestation and climate change, as well as on hunting, are relevant and contribute to the task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.