It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

modern world,

children

Use synonyms

make mistakes are common. Some people believe that

children

Use synonyms

need to know the difference between right and wrong at an early age,

while

Linking Words

others think it is compulsory to give punishment to

change

Use synonyms

their behaviour. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement and I will support my opinion with various examples.

Firstly

Linking Words

, good guidance and advice will

change

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

's mindsets. To illustrate, in comparison with harsh punishments, there are good ways to

change

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

's behaviours.

In addition

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

's minds get upset when parents or

teachers

Use synonyms

treat them badly because most of the

children

Use synonyms

's role models are their

mother

Fix the agreement mistake

mothers

show examples

or father.

For example

Linking Words

, In 2011 there was a report submitted by China university

students

Use synonyms

, that 50% of young people said that their role models are their parents or their favourite

teachers

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, giving educational-based punishment will increase kid's knowledge. To brief, in schools or institutions most of the

teachers

Use synonyms

struggle to handle some

students

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

kind of time,

teachers

Use synonyms

are allowed to use punishments to control their

students

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in Japan, school

teachers

Use synonyms

do not give harsh punishments

instead

Linking Words

they provide mathematical-based question papers for

uncontroled

Correct your spelling

uncontrolled

students

Use synonyms

so the

students

Use synonyms

think twice about doing bad activities again. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

it is true that the

teachers

Use synonyms

are struggling to handle more

students

Use synonyms

so giving educational-based punishment will increase kids' knowledge, the benefits of giving proper guidance and advice

will

Correct pronoun usage

that will

show examples

change

Use synonyms

kids’ mindset offers are undeniable.

Therefore

Linking Words

I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

shruthiudhai7Sun Jul 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While your essay addresses both parts of the prompt, it is essential to better integrate and elaborate on the ideas. Ensure that your main points are clearly articulated and that they directly relate to the essay question.

coherence cohesion

You have presented a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Each of your main points should be supported by relevant and specific examples. While you have used examples, make sure they are more precisely linked to your arguments to strengthen your essay's persuasiveness.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets the stage for your argument, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

task achievement

You have provided some relevant examples to support your ideas, which adds strength to your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and well-organized structure with distinct paragraphs.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
positive reinforcement
consequences
time-outs
removal of privileges
open communication
clear expectations
consistency
fairness
disciplinary action
proportionate
moral values
internalization

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People live expectation increases in the present day in many people argue that it adds more problems, while other people think the opposite. I posit that the advantages are unable to surpass the merits.
7
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, some people believe taking risks are excellent choice in their professional and personal lives. In my view, I disagree with this opinion because I think the disadvantages of adventure outweigh its merits.
7.5
band
In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?
Several countries around the world believe that students ought to be taught different courses in junior high school, whereas, other nations only provide a small number of related subjects. I believe that teenagers should be exposed to various fields because they can increase their knowledge and bring benefits to their future.
5
band
The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how It will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps represent the current state of the university sports centre infrastructure and future plans for how it is going to be renovated.
7.5
band
In some countries young people are encouraged to work r travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Nowadays, several countries provide their undergraduates with programs in which they can work and journey simultaneously for a year in the time interval between ending high school and starting college. Accordingly, there are some benefits to this assertion, but also it presents a number of drawbacks.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how It will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work r travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.