Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

this

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modern era, the increasing trend of including violent scenes in

films

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, both on television and in cinemas, has sparked a debate regarding whether the government should intervene to regulate

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matter. It's evident that there are differing opinions on

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issue, with valid points on both sides. Let's delve into these perspectives and

then

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offer my own view. On one hand, proponents of regulation often argue based on concerns about the potential harm these violent portrayals may inflict, particularly on children. It's widely acknowledged that children, in their formative years, are highly susceptible to negative influences. Exposure to violent content at

such

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a young age can impede their mental development and may even contribute to future antisocial

behavior

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behaviour

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Additionally

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, some argue that violent depictions in

films

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can incite social and political unrest.

For instance

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, there have been instances where movies have sparked protests or civil disobedience, leading to significant challenges for governments in managing and resolving these issues.

On the other hand

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, opponents of regulation emphasize the importance of entertainment and artistic freedom. They argue that certain genres,

such

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as action or science fiction, rely on thrilling and intense scenes to captivate audiences. Without these elements, the appeal of

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films

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diminishes significantly.

Furthermore

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, imposing restrictions on violence in

films

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could stifle creativity among filmmakers. Directors often use violent scenes to convey emotions, character traits, and plot developments effectively. Limiting these artistic choices could result in less engaging and impactful cinematic experiences. In conclusion,

while

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it's undeniable that violence in

films

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can have negative effects on individuals and society as a whole, I lean towards the perspective that strict regulation may undermine the artistic integrity and entertainment value of the cinematic industry.

Instead

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, I believe that a balanced approach, perhaps through age-appropriate ratings and parental guidance, can better address the concerns

while

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still preserving creative freedom and audience engagement.

alicema0503

May 14, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay is well-structured and addresses both sides of the argument comprehensively. To enhance the task response, consider incorporating more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points further.

task achievement

You have demonstrated clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. However, to push your score even higher, ensure every claim made is backed by detailed evidence or examples.

coherence cohesion

While your essay's coherence and logical structure are excellent, you might consider using more transitional phrases to make the flow even smoother. This will help in making your essay not only pragmatically strong but also aesthetically pleasing.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are effective and encapsulate the essence of your essay well. To perfect them, make sure they are succinct but impactful, summarizing your key points without adding new information.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical flow throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction sets up the debate clearly, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes your arguments and presents your final stance.

task achievement

You have covered both viewpoints thoroughly and provided a balanced discussion, which is crucial for a high task achievement score.

task achievement

The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, demonstrating a strong grasp of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

regulation
vulnerable groups
age restrictions
censorship
real-life aggression
healthier society
creative freedom
free speech
artistic vision
cultural narratives
personal responsibility
viewing choices
balanced approach
rating systems
parental guidance

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