IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about the following topic: As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #internet #newspapers
Nowadays it is easy to read the
news
 in many different ways than in the past. We can get lots of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from the
internet
 that in the past would only be
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
newspaper
. Some people believe that in the future there will not be
newspapers
. I agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
 getting
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 from the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 than from a
newspaper
. You can read
news
 on the
internet
 in
anyplace
Correct your spelling
any place
show examples
 and at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
for example
 on your computer at work or on your smartphone when you are on the bus. Reading a
newspaper
 means that you will need to go to the shop
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
 a
newspaper
 and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
carry it with you.
This
 is not as
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 as reading on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
news
 on the
internet
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 much faster than
news
 in the
newspaper
.
News
 in the
newspaper
 can only be about yesterday or before. All
newspapers
 are
wrote
Wrong verb form
written
show examples
 the day before they
are sell
Change the verb form
are sold
are selling
show examples
 in
theshops
Correct your spelling
the shops
. With the
internet
Add a comma
internet,
show examples
 you can read as soon as a story happens.
This
 way you get
news
 much more
quicker
Replace the word
quickly
show examples
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 there are more stories on the
internet
 for
news
. When I read a story on the
internet
 I can read different writers opinion about the
news
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
this
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing because you understand more things about the
news
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I believe that the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is better for
news
 than
newspapers
 many people who
are buy
Change the verb form
buy
show examples
newspapers
 now are older and for young
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 the
newspaper
 is not very important.
Submitted by srsdy008 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Work on improving sentence structure to maintain grammatical accuracy. For example, 'getting informations from the internet are much more convenience' should be 'getting information from the internet is much more convenient.'
content
Try to include more specific examples to support your points, which can help in making your argument more persuasive.
coherence
Use transitional words and phrases like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' or 'moreover' to improve the flow of your essay.
content
The essay addresses the topic well and provides a clear standpoint.
task response
The essay makes a strong case for why the internet may replace newspapers in the future, with solid reasoning and supporting points.
relevance
Good use of personal experience to underline the argument, such as reading news on the bus through a smartphone.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: