Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
It is believed by many
people
that the introduction of modern technology
has a positive impact on connecting people
together. While
,
others believe that the modern Remove the comma
apply
technology
has a negative effect as it seprates
Correct your spelling
separates
people
from each other. In my opinion, i
think Change the capitalization
I
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
face to face
connection is more Add a hyphen
face-to-face
Correct your spelling
preferable
prefarable
as you can determine Correct your spelling
preferable
Change noun form
people's
people
Change noun form
people's
Replace the word
facial
face
expressions.
First and foremost, the Replace the word
facial
internet
is
going through Wrong verb form
has been
fast
and modern civilization over the Correct article usage
a fast
last
decades. Therefore
, billions of people
use the internet
in every aspect in
their lives Change preposition
of
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
the
social media platforms. Correct article usage
apply
This
modern technology
resulted in a good connection and ease
the way of communication between Wrong verb form
eased
people
, living in different areas with diffrenet
time zones. A Correct your spelling
different
reserach
Correct your spelling
research
was
carried Unnecessary verb
apply
in
2010, showed that after the introduction and use of Change preposition
out in
thr
Correct your spelling
the
internet
people
nowadays are in-touch
with Correct your spelling
in touch
thier
loved ones easily compared to ages ago and Correct your spelling
their
this
has a significant positive effect on people
mental health.
Change noun form
people's
Secondly
, one of the major drawbacks on
relying Change preposition
of
onto
the Change the preposition
on
upon
internet
to communicate with Capitalize word
Internet
people
is the lack of interpersonal relationship
that can not be built through a screen. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
Moreover
, it is challenging to make a new friendship through the internet
because most of the people
there can be hackers or not the same personality you are talking to. It is adviced
that if you are going for the first time to meet your online friend Correct your spelling
advised
do
be on your own.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
to
although
the modern technology
introduction has helped people
with lots of things such
as easeing
the way of communication between Correct your spelling
easing
eating
people
. However
, it is
Verb problem
has
also
increased the cahnce
of spam and Correct your spelling
chance
hacker
and through a Fix the agreement mistake
hackers
screen
you can not tell whether Add a comma
screen,
this
person is incent or lying.Submitted by safayahia63 on
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grammar
There are several grammatical errors. Revise sentences for errors such as incorrect verb tense usage (e.g., 'has a negative effect as it seprates' should be 'has a negative effect as it separates').
grammar
Ensure proper capitalization for the pronoun 'I' and proper nouns such as 'Internet.'
task achievement
Elaborate more on points with specific examples to make arguments stronger and more convincing.
grammar
Use more diverse and complex sentence structures to improve readability and depth of argument.
coherence cohesion
Summarize both viewpoints clearly before presenting your own opinion to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion in the introduction.
supported main points
Good use of research data to support the argument related to the positive impacts of the Internet.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.